:: sick and tired ::
sick and tired... a phrase that is often heard in the singaporean context. well, what do you expect? the term singapore comes with conditions such as a mad rat race, a stressful enviroment, a super well behaved public as well as a well to do future. for me, sick and tired has just gotten a whole new meaning to it.
yesterday, jun qing asked me to write an appeal letter for him using my position as the president of chinese drama. being amused as it is, as chinese drama doesnt have as much attention as the main cca of the sch, i decided to be really nice and write him a really good one. then i began to look thru my SJI testimonials for inspiration as it is really hard to come up with a good testimonial on a sat afternoon when i could be sleeping! haha..
flipping thru, i saw phrases such as " he takes the lead and initiative.... silent worker who is very committed to his tasks. he is mature and shows lots of initiative. he offers ideas and opinions to improve the standing of lawrence house. ... i m impressed by his ability to stay within his tasks and remaining undaunted by setbacks" written by my house mistress in the DSA letter to HCI.
the last phrase really struck me like a thunderbolt as i have been struggling with some issues lately. "ability to stay within his tasks and remaining undaunted by setbacks". this is now an issue easier said than done. much of these strength has been inspired to me by my beloved house mistress as she continually supports and encourages me. hence, i really feel that the teacher plays a major role in the ease at which you carry out your responsibility as the head of an organisation.
lately, i havnt been on as good terms with my cca teacher as the previous one. coupled with blow after blow, i m beginning to feel weary. so much for taking the initiative. so much for my commitment to my cca. so much for staying within tasks and remaining undaunted. "as the going gets tough, the tough gets going". this has been a phrase that i used to push myself last time. now, when the going gets tough, i get crushed.
mrs chan spoke that " it is not good for the cca to have a weary leader. it will benefit no one. so teachers and peers, do show your support for your student leaders." funny how i m not getting the support from either group. probably the peers, but not my co workers nor the teachers. i m feeling so frustrated, tired, angry, depressed, overlooked, weary and abused.
all these while, i have managed to control my emotions, trying to give everyone a chance, trying to give myself a chance to prove myself. but now, i m really so sick and tired of everything. i just want to let go and dun look back. i wanted to control everything to make my cv look good. i wanted to control everything, to get the best so that there is more funds, hence the next president would not have to go thru what i m going thru now. i want to improve the social standing of CLDDS, all for the sake of whom? its the members! i dun want ppl to feel ashamed of belonging to CLDDS. i want them to be proud that they can contribute to the sch in this small area. but they are not even cooperating with me at all! why should i tear myself up like that? i feel so stupid and frustrated.
i m really sick and tired of everything. i m not going to bother now.
yesterday, jun qing asked me to write an appeal letter for him using my position as the president of chinese drama. being amused as it is, as chinese drama doesnt have as much attention as the main cca of the sch, i decided to be really nice and write him a really good one. then i began to look thru my SJI testimonials for inspiration as it is really hard to come up with a good testimonial on a sat afternoon when i could be sleeping! haha..
flipping thru, i saw phrases such as " he takes the lead and initiative.... silent worker who is very committed to his tasks. he is mature and shows lots of initiative. he offers ideas and opinions to improve the standing of lawrence house. ... i m impressed by his ability to stay within his tasks and remaining undaunted by setbacks" written by my house mistress in the DSA letter to HCI.
the last phrase really struck me like a thunderbolt as i have been struggling with some issues lately. "ability to stay within his tasks and remaining undaunted by setbacks". this is now an issue easier said than done. much of these strength has been inspired to me by my beloved house mistress as she continually supports and encourages me. hence, i really feel that the teacher plays a major role in the ease at which you carry out your responsibility as the head of an organisation.
lately, i havnt been on as good terms with my cca teacher as the previous one. coupled with blow after blow, i m beginning to feel weary. so much for taking the initiative. so much for my commitment to my cca. so much for staying within tasks and remaining undaunted. "as the going gets tough, the tough gets going". this has been a phrase that i used to push myself last time. now, when the going gets tough, i get crushed.
mrs chan spoke that " it is not good for the cca to have a weary leader. it will benefit no one. so teachers and peers, do show your support for your student leaders." funny how i m not getting the support from either group. probably the peers, but not my co workers nor the teachers. i m feeling so frustrated, tired, angry, depressed, overlooked, weary and abused.
all these while, i have managed to control my emotions, trying to give everyone a chance, trying to give myself a chance to prove myself. but now, i m really so sick and tired of everything. i just want to let go and dun look back. i wanted to control everything to make my cv look good. i wanted to control everything, to get the best so that there is more funds, hence the next president would not have to go thru what i m going thru now. i want to improve the social standing of CLDDS, all for the sake of whom? its the members! i dun want ppl to feel ashamed of belonging to CLDDS. i want them to be proud that they can contribute to the sch in this small area. but they are not even cooperating with me at all! why should i tear myself up like that? i feel so stupid and frustrated.
i m really sick and tired of everything. i m not going to bother now.
joshua loved @
Sunday, March 11, 2007
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home