joshua

last month of the year

2008-12-04T04:35:00.001-08:00

its december already and i was reviewing this year of my life in my room. it was then that i noticed my acjc year book lying on the table. out of curiousity, i picked it up and started flipping through it. it brought me past the achievements section as well as the principal's honour roll. it then started to dawn on me, that ever since i started secondary school in secondary one, i sought to live my life with no regrets. sad to say, as i was browsing through that section, i felt stab after stab of regrets that ought not to be there. it got so bad that i started telling myself, if i had a choice, i would never have gone to acjc.

but then again, i was thinking, why blame the school. when i was in acjc, i was living in the past, living in the glorious times and the carefree moments of SJI that i neglected to live in the present. thus i had never put my heart and soul into any of the cca that i was involved in. in chinese drama, i was so used to the teacher's trust and freedom in me in sji that i forgot that i had to work to gain the trust all over again. thus this led to alot of friction between us and i could certainly say that neither the teacher nor i could stand each other.

in shooting, i was so preoccupied with my other commitments that i was multi tasking, thus i could not attain the level that i was supposed to be at. even now, as i glance back, i could easily outshine any of the shooters in acjc. but why do i even give them a chance to surpass me. looking at my scores now as i shoot at safra yishun, i felt wave after wave of regret, something that i am unable to let go.

the class was another issue. the teacher, i felt, was never there for us. never protecting us, never gelling us together. thus many of the problems surfaced and cracked the unity of the class. without a class looking out for each other, it certainly posed many problems in school, especially in terms of academic areas where study groups was very vital. it was really God's blessing that i managed to get decent grades and be accepted into a prestigeous course in NUS.

finally, i asked myself, why even though SJI provided a more holistic education, it was less 'glamourous' than acjc? one fine day, i told myself, i would ensure that SJI has the same attraction, if not more, as acjc. that way, more lifes would be touched and changed for the better.

gd bye mr lui

2008-10-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

mr lui has been the principal who impacted my life the most.

i still remember the first time i met him, he was at the performing arts centre(PAC) giving the sec one innaugration talk. he struck me as someone who knows his stuff, and thus assured me that SJI is a school worth being in. i got to know him better while i was doing my morning assembly duties. he often shows care and concern, taking time to ask after his prefects despite his busy schedule. it is this human touch that i see lacking in other principals and this sets him apart. even after being graduated for some time, he still remembers his students when we come back and visit.

under him, SJI also underwent lots of changes in curriculum, many which are advantageous to the students. hence, current and future josephians have reaped the benefits and grown in person and in character. SJI was also an ideal place for any and every singaporean boy to have his secondary school education. it would be SJI's loss that he is stepping down as principal.

random

2008-09-11T19:08:00.001-07:00

omg, its been almost a year since i last blogged. so many things have came and gone, im now into my ninth month of the armystint. after passing through bmt and sispec, im now at 3SIR as an artillery specialist. life does have its ups and downs. i cant wait to ord. now that i am in the army, i can see why people say studying life is the best life you could every prob have. the life is alot simpler and you do not have to worry about any resposibilities nor do you have to deal with incapable people! also, my brain has started to dsyfunction and i realise i cannot remember alot of my academic stuff! i really got to give some tuition lessons to keep my brain working! haha..

recently i took up driving lessons. i just passed my basic theory test not too long ago and now starting on my practical lessons. im really excited about it as it could be my ticket way out of the long tiring train journeys across the island country every saturday! haha.. i know i m a lazy spoilt brat.. sue me! haha...

birthday

2008-06-22T02:12:00.000-07:00

as the title says it, this blog is going to be about my birthday that jsut passed. its been two days already and presents are still streaming in. i really want to thank those people who has made this day so special for me.

not that im materialistic or anything, but lets start with the presents. i got a really funky looking watch from the cell group, chosen by none other than shaun chua! it came just in time as i dropped by watch during orientation in ACJC and the watch face cracked. its a really cool watch with a black strap and can match any of my clothes easily. :D

following that came a shirt, by shirleen, shaun, jo, andy and eva. its a polo shirt from springfield. heard its an up and coming brand but have not really seen the shirts before. the polo was quite a slim fit with sleeves that emphasized on the training that the army has put me through. shall try it on next week! :D

also, many thanks to my dear bro kahang who bought me 'sound blocker' earphones. told him many weeks back about it but didnt really put any thought to it. so i was really touched that he remembered and took the trouble to buy it even though he is in the army now!

jo and andy also did a really awesome card for me. many thanks to them who took time off their busy schedule to decorate the card and get it done for me! :D

after the presents, they sneakily set up the place while i was choosing food with kahang. haha.. they brought me to the jap restaurant at the bottom of cathay building and its a kind of self service style. haha... so it was quite a pleasant surprise when i came back and found that the present Manying gave me was really cakes and muffins and tarts. haha... after the celebrations, we spend quality time together as a cell group.

today, laraine and ruoya gave me a NUM shirt! haha... its super bright red in colour and the words on it are so totally AA! haha... need to consider quite a while before i think i will try it on. :D

orientation 08

2008-01-04T07:41:00.000-08:00

went crashing orientation for the past few days in ac! thanks to jianda for allowing me to crash! haha... met loads of fantastic new friends! haha... such as jeremy, lynette, and royston to name a few! haha... now got ppl to go crazy with! haha... last time, my friends always quite serious one... want to go crazy also no one to find! haha...

playing with this group of people, i feel really happy, in the sense that there is no restriction, no limit to how i can behave and stuff... and i feel that this group of people is really special, in the sense that they are not like any other. although they are my younger sister's age, they are completely different from how my sister's friends behave, and they are totally warm and cool! haha... what an irony! haha... but thats the way it is! haha...

when i see them look up to me, its a feeling that i have not felt for very long! when i told eva that i lost the feeling that i had in my secondary school, that is the feeling that i had, that my friends look up to me, that i have a special group of people whom i can call friends and have a good time with. when this feeling came back to me, i could almost feel a different me, one that has a spring in every step, one that makes me feel younger, one that feels that the world is indeed a better place to live in!

lets hope this feeling lasts, and i can keep counting on this group of buddies!

korea

2007-12-02T01:51:00.001-08:00

woops, two months never post now december already! haha... im super happy cos christmas is my favourite season of the year! :D:D:D haha..

now the A's are over already! thank God! haha... it really is the most depressing exam i have taken so far man! now preparing for the army

before that, i wanna rest and relax first, so my family and i went for a trip to korea. i will spare much of the details so if you want to see the pictures or know more, msg me yeah! :D

i think the korean way of life is very much my style, as in like the keep their traditions while moving forward. i think that korea is progressing very much faster than singapore, in the sense of fashion and economy. their fashion there is super good! haha... i also went to dongdaemoon (a shopping centre) and bought quite a fair bit of things. i was just wishing how nice it would be if singapore has a shopping centre like that. cos the shops are seperated into guys and girls by levels. and the guys apparel has alot of things that suit young men! in terms of formal and nonformal clothing, accessories etc. it is unlike bugis street where everthing is girls clothes and suddenly in one desolated corner is a guy's shop.

i also went skiing for the first time in my life! haha... it was exhiliarting. after one hour, i could try the normal slopes instead of being stuck at the beginner's slopes... it is really a different experience! :D snow is so pretty! haha... as i went up the mountain top, we went along a portion where no people has gone before, and the scenery was so pristine! haha... totally loved it! :D

yeps, i think those two were the highlights of the trip. oh and not to mention the hot springs too! hot springing in the winter outdoors is really shiok i tell you! haha... hot body, cold face... you can nvr get that in singapore! haha... (and i heard its good for the skin too! :D) haha...

i do encourage you guys to go! :D

boy in the picture

2007-10-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

its one month since i last blogged! its a long long time man! im now staring at a photo of me when i m was two years old. i can hardly recognize the boy inside man! his eyes are full of laughter and his smile is so radiant. he looks so jubilant as he rides on his toy car amogst his guest as his parents are off to the hospital to give birth to his sister that he is so close to now. how is he to know that in sixteen years time, he would face such towering obstacles and trials in life that is driving him almost to insanity. i wish i could be like the boy in the picture again.

as life passes by, the little boy grew up and God gave him a younger brother when he was seven. not knowing if it was a blessing or a curse, the boy went to check the new addition in the family to satisfy his curiosity. little did he know that he would be condemmed to a life of misery as he began to shoulder the chores of looking after the younger sibling and being responsible for him. not that he was complaining. just that sometimes, he would like some acknowledgement for all his efforts. instead, his parents, especially his dad, tends to show favouritism towards his younger sibling. many a times, they would tell the older brother that they love each and everyone equally. but in actual fact, love is felt through action, not words. at each quarrel between the two of them, the parents would always tend to side the younger sibling as they felt that he was more vulnerable than his older brother. but they are forgetting that the older brother is just as much as a child as the younger brother was.

time after time after time after time. the young boy in the picture was often hurt by the comments of his mum, by the rejection of his dad. soon, he learnt to build an emotional wall around himself to protect himself. at first, it was a low bunker. then it became a stilt. soon, it grew to become a wall. the walls slowly lengthen and rose in height to become a fortress. now barracaded within, he learnt to remain emotionless when the tides turn against him. though the waves of fury never seem to reach him, deep within the fortress, the boy still stings from the fiery words from his dad. it seems like no matter how hard he tries, how brillant he is or how outstanding he becomes, his little brother will always be the apple of his parents eyes. yet his parents tell him not to be so jealous and to look after his brother with love. how, then, is he supposed to look after a creature which bites the hand who feeds him? only with gloves as protection and a heart that is very unwilling. yet for the love of his awesome God he presses on, not knowing where he is supposed to go but believeing that God will guide him to greener pastures. as the bible often says, "for i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you." thus, in Him he trusts.

now as the A level approaches, the boy in the picture feels the strain even more. as the mountains of pressure from the academic work threatens to crush the tiny little boy, he looks to the Lord in faith, keeping the Lord's words by his heart as he seeks refuge in the Lord. it seems, that it is true, that the Lord will never leave him nor forsake him. though the world may fall, the little boy will never let Him go. with the faith of a little child, the boy in the picture looks towards the giants that threaten to crush him in the eye and he is not afraid. for if the Lord is for him, then who can be against him?

i love that little boy in the picture. may God bless him forever more! :P

will you still love God

2007-09-04T02:37:00.000-07:00

recently i watched this movie " Facing the Giants". i think its quite an old movie, but the movie is super good! would encourage everyone to watch. seriously. this is the first time i give standng ovation to a movie. so should go and watch.

just a quick summary, the movie speaks about this american football (rugby) coach who tries to turn a team around with his own strength and fails to the extend that he almost get kicked out of the sch. then he turns to God and places his trust in Him and God's blessings overflows so much that even his barren wife gets pregnant. its a really touching show.

spoiler alert! im going to discuss the movie..

there are three parts that touched me the most. firstly, about the barren wife part. in this day and age, i believe that its still a shameful thing if you do not have any decendents. not only to shed some joy and life into this world, but also to complete the family and to truly experience what life on earth is about. after many successive tries, the wife still cannot get pregnant. then when they do the quiet time in the morning one day, the husband asked the wife, if God does not give us any children, would you still love Him? then due to a mix up in the lab, the wife is led to believe that she is not pregnant. i found it esp touching when she leans on her car, and prays, i will still love you. although God might not give us what we want, we should still love Him as His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, His ways are higher than our ways. it maybe something that you really want, but in the end, your love for God should be stronger than anything on this earth, and do remember to thank Him in all circumstances.

secondly, the coach uses a bible verse to get a guy to kick the ball straight through the goal post. the coach says " you are kicking either wide left or wide right. anyone can kick wide left or wide right. but the road to salvation is straight and narrow. you and i need to take this straight and narrow path." the road to God's kingdom might not be an easy one, filled with trials and obstacles, it may even make you stumble and fall. but at the end of the day, the road that leads "wide left or wide right" is easy to travel, but it leads to destruction. no matter how many times you stumble and fall, you still have to pick yourself up and carry on along that road. that is what distinguishes christians from the rest of the world. have a faith the size of a mustard seed.

also, this boy-in-question's father, he is a handicapped. the son did not believe that he can do it and thus said, if i cannot even kick it straight, why bother trying. the father then rebuked him, i cannot walk, but is it a reason to stay at home and mope about? later on in the movie, when the son was about to try kicking the ball 51 yards across the field into the post, he felt that he couldnt do it. but the father then did smt to convince him. the father struggled to stand up on his own two feet, and held up his hands as if in prayer to show the son that nothing is impossible with my God. many a times, we have made God too small in our eyes. often saying that it is impossible and that it cannot be done. but hey, think again.. our God is the same yesterday, today and forever. if God could create the universe at his voice, breathe life into existance, what is still impossible with God?

thus, when we face difficulties and we feel that God is just not there for us, we must always remember his promise to us. his promise that he will always walk by our side. after all, when we became christians and gave our life to God once again, he did not promise us to have a smooth sailing life or that life would be a bed of roses. instead, he promised that he would be with us through thick and thin, and that he would not let us be tried beyond what we can bear. relevation 3:7 says ""To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you. Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come upon the whole world to test those who live on the earth. I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown. Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name."

Great is our God and worthy to be praised!

moody

2007-08-30T08:18:00.000-07:00

today is jesmond's birthday! before i get anywhere, let me first wish him happy birthday, and reassure him that my moodiness has nothing whatsoever to do with him.. yups...

today the results for the honours nite have been released. although everyone got outstanding service, im not exactly pleased. this is as some people do not know how to differentiate between work and personal feelings, and is too immature to handle things and should just go home and sleep. but nonetheless, congrats to those who got the outstanding service, i hope you really worked for it and deserve it. :)

after that, i went back to sji... the warmth of the teachers smile and concern melted my hardened heart totally. it brought back memories and joy in which i had spent the four years of my life. but then, upon seeing a minority of the teachers also brought about pain and agony. i started to rmb all the unjustice and terror that i experienced at their hands, and felt a great contrast to what i was feeling before. its like two tidal waves of different emotions hit me in full force, bringing me in different directions and attempting to tear me apart. just as i was the most vexed, i met brother michael, who told me" the year is not screwed, i just havnt found the right path of where God wants me to go yet". the hug he gave me just unleashed the struggles i have within, as if everything was going to be alright and that he was giving me courage to face the future challenges. after all, we have to go through all the challenges ourselves, and others can only stand by us to guide and inspire us. and im immensely grateful for that. the kindness that the teachers at sji have shown would indeed last me a lifetime. so here is to wishing all the teachers back at sji a wonderful and unforgettable teacher's day! you guys would forever be the king/queen of my heart!

after that, i met hengbin and the jc cell group to watch movies... we watched borne identity which was a really great movie. you guys should go and catch it! but as i was watching the movie, i started to think about hengbin who was sitting beside me. after that, i was sharing with jo that everytime i hear hengbin talk about buddhist fellowship or see him, i would feel super guilty, as if i wasnt doing enough to bring him to God's glory. that is one big challenge that i have yet to overcome.

following that, we went to jesmond's birthday. while we were fellowshipping over dinner, i just feel like i was invisible, and quite emo. its like, the jc ppl would talk to the jc side. the working adults would talk to the working adults side. and i felt trapped in the middle, not knowing which group i should join. it is so hard to break into either circle, although there is conscious effort on both sides to try to interact, but i always feel that there is this invisible thick wall which is so high that i cant climb over, so thick i cant penetrate and so strong i cant break it down. this wall, it is as if is meant to protect me, but actually im a prisoner trapped within it. each time we fellowship, i can "see" the other person and they can "see" me. but we are just not connecting! i really do not know what to do!

is it singapore's social circle in that it is so hard to penetrate and be part of it? yet it is so fragile that without the constant nurturing and dedication it would just break apart? it maybe true tat the brightest smiles hide the darkest sorrows. everytime i think about it, i just feel so frustrated. i want a soulmate, but none can afford to be my "zhi ying". partially also cos it takes alot to gain my trust completely. but yet when ppl do, they are often to busy themselves to help others. so at the end of the day, its me by myself, facing my own sorrows, in my own strength. i do not want a lamp post which can offer a bit of advice or to shine the road along the way, only to leave me when i progress. what i really want/need is a lantern, who can walk with me side by side and share the ups and downs of life. who can understand me, listen to me, help me with my struggles/challenges, someone who i look up to, take care of me and be my soulmate always. has these kind of people gone the way of the dinosaurs? i thought i have found this in n354, but it looks as if i cant pentrate it yet again. or is it too early to tell?

im really weary of life, tired, drained and mentally blocked. i need a rest. can someone help me?

prelims

2007-08-05T07:05:00.000-07:00

nowadays, prelims have become the new foul language. everyone is abstaining from mentioning it to avoid unnecessary stress to both themselves and others. and now that there is only one week left to prelims, i m so totally stressed out and freaked out! its like, i kinda need a break here! i cant breathe! help!

despite that, we still have to make time for God, and give to Him what is due. as the pastor preached yesterday, what is precious to us is also precious to God. now, as a student, all i have to myself is nothing but my time. hence, i would want to give back to him abit of my time as an offering of appreciation. yesterday's Festival of Praise was really awesome! for those that didnt go, you guys duno what you have missed man. i think im beginning to take to don moen and his songs. as in like his songs really reflect what i want to say to God. an since they are more or less quite presbyterian like, as in they are slow, you can really take your time to think thru and mean them when you sing them as a form of praise and worship. and yesterday's fop really brought me into a whole new level of intimacy with God. its just so wonderful to worship God.

besides that, im really stressed for my prelims. its like i m still so unprepared for it! esp for maths and econs. i can almost declare a state of emergency now. anyone pls help?! im really desperate now!

n354

2007-07-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

celebrated joel's birthday today at his house! oh yeah, before anything else, wanna wish joel a very happy birthday! hope you are happy with the surprise that we planned for you! haha...

while i was at his party, n354 was around the bbq pit fellowshipping. i must say that im really thankful to get to know ppl like jo, alex, eva and of course, the six ac ppl that always hang out together. with God's help, we have become very close friends in such a short time. but somehow, it still lack the x factor that i have with my best friend. nonetheless, i m really thankful for this friendship that has sustained me and encouraged me. its close to a miracle how we can get so clsoe in such a short time. the part i like best is that we always support each other all the time. also, with jo as my big sister and shirleen always with her cheerful face to brighten up my day, its really a pillar of support to me. so wanna thank God for it!

prelims

2007-07-15T06:32:00.000-07:00

i kinda realised i havnt blogged for three months already. so many things have happened during this period, syf, national shooting, broken up with girlfriend and stuff like that... but now that its all over, its time to set my heart for the prelims and then the final big a's.

curently, there is this thing weighing on my mind. for those who didnt know, im currently attending city harvest church now, with my good friends from acjc, bronson, yuhan, joel and dhanuj... the people there are really great, esp jo, jess, shirleen and eva. but then, i think about my best friend and i feel a huge wave of guilt surging over me. because he is prob the closest anyone would be to me, and he is really like a brother, and i really want to be closest of friends in this lifetime. but his cell group timing is really inconvenient for me. and i seriously would like to grow in my bible knowledge. hence i tried out this cell group which is for the jc ppl and i found that it suits me quite ok. there are also nj people there, which he can relate to as well cos his current cell group is of the working age and he is the youngest there. i m hoping he can come and join me so that there would be a group of like minded people to support him thru this period, esp when his studies are not doing so well as he would like it to have been at this point of time. i havnt been able to speak to him about this, and its kinda weighing on my mind quite badly. prob i would try to arrange something soon. rarr...

now about my prelims, there is only 29 days as of today, and i havnt started anything yet! except for chem which i can prob do some cip by peer tutoring with. but im screwed for maths and econs especially! haha... ok la.. passable, but i kinda want to do as well for my prelims as possible so that i can apply for universities with it. rarr... all you guys out there pls pray for me, that i would have the self discipline to study, as well as the ability to retain and apply wat i have learnt. i really need a miracle to help me now! haha...

anyways, i feel kinda shitty now... and i havnt chosen my next exco... another mental strength draining shit... rarr... tmr is council invest... how i envy them... can concentrate on their studies already...

syf

2007-04-24T05:11:00.000-07:00

with syf around the corner, my heart is thumping crazily every second of the day. i cant sleep in peace, i cant study in peace, my thoughts are all filled with syf. the big letters SYF is like a ghost, coming to haunt me day and night. but i must say that syf has injected alot of meaning into both chi drama and my jc2 life. it offers me a break from the mundane tasks of lectures and tutorials, bonds my cca together as a family, and brought alot of laughter and joy into our lifes. syf is indeed a good thing.

over this period of nine months, i have been constantly evaluating myself, to see if i have been a good enough leader, to see if there is anything i could have done better, or anything i would like to redo if i have the chance. with great pleasure and loads of grace from God i should say this, is that i m very satisfied with my performance. its certainly not pleasing to everyone, but a leader cant please everyone. my type of leadership is gain respect by first gaining respect. im glad to see that all the signs have been pointing towards the success of this point. now all i wish to do is to draw a perfect fullstop to this beautiful story; to gain gold with honours in syf.

i just pray that God will open up the heavens and pour out his blessing on us, and that we will always seek to glorify and honour his great name. glory be to God in the highest!

sick and tired

2007-03-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

sick and tired... a phrase that is often heard in the singaporean context. well, what do you expect? the term singapore comes with conditions such as a mad rat race, a stressful enviroment, a super well behaved public as well as a well to do future. for me, sick and tired has just gotten a whole new meaning to it.

yesterday, jun qing asked me to write an appeal letter for him using my position as the president of chinese drama. being amused as it is, as chinese drama doesnt have as much attention as the main cca of the sch, i decided to be really nice and write him a really good one. then i began to look thru my SJI testimonials for inspiration as it is really hard to come up with a good testimonial on a sat afternoon when i could be sleeping! haha..

flipping thru, i saw phrases such as " he takes the lead and initiative.... silent worker who is very committed to his tasks. he is mature and shows lots of initiative. he offers ideas and opinions to improve the standing of lawrence house. ... i m impressed by his ability to stay within his tasks and remaining undaunted by setbacks" written by my house mistress in the DSA letter to HCI.

the last phrase really struck me like a thunderbolt as i have been struggling with some issues lately. "ability to stay within his tasks and remaining undaunted by setbacks". this is now an issue easier said than done. much of these strength has been inspired to me by my beloved house mistress as she continually supports and encourages me. hence, i really feel that the teacher plays a major role in the ease at which you carry out your responsibility as the head of an organisation.

lately, i havnt been on as good terms with my cca teacher as the previous one. coupled with blow after blow, i m beginning to feel weary. so much for taking the initiative. so much for my commitment to my cca. so much for staying within tasks and remaining undaunted. "as the going gets tough, the tough gets going". this has been a phrase that i used to push myself last time. now, when the going gets tough, i get crushed.

mrs chan spoke that " it is not good for the cca to have a weary leader. it will benefit no one. so teachers and peers, do show your support for your student leaders." funny how i m not getting the support from either group. probably the peers, but not my co workers nor the teachers. i m feeling so frustrated, tired, angry, depressed, overlooked, weary and abused.

all these while, i have managed to control my emotions, trying to give everyone a chance, trying to give myself a chance to prove myself. but now, i m really so sick and tired of everything. i just want to let go and dun look back. i wanted to control everything to make my cv look good. i wanted to control everything, to get the best so that there is more funds, hence the next president would not have to go thru what i m going thru now. i want to improve the social standing of CLDDS, all for the sake of whom? its the members! i dun want ppl to feel ashamed of belonging to CLDDS. i want them to be proud that they can contribute to the sch in this small area. but they are not even cooperating with me at all! why should i tear myself up like that? i feel so stupid and frustrated.

i m really sick and tired of everything. i m not going to bother now.

sch lib

2007-03-07T21:45:00.001-08:00

krystabella is now beside me. haha... blogging now cos i got nothing to do. haha... ac this year's cut off point is like 6-7 la... so many of my juniors cannot get in. hmm... most of them appealing now... haha... looks like ac is on the rise again! yeah.. haha...

just now johanna came to find me in sch.. haha... kinda finding it really hard to accept that three of my church mates are now in my sch, matthew, danielle and johanna. including me it would be four. haha... reminds me of sji when kenneth and russel and i were in the same sch. and kenneth was also in my class. hmm... times have really changed.

this is the last week of my terms already. still havent started mugging. wondering when m i gonna start. its really pressuring. and the more pressurizing it is, the more i wanna run away from it! some one pls help!

chinese drama is also getting back to normal. the script for syf is starting today. actually last week, but the official pennning of the script is today. kinda worried and stressed over it. haha... cca in jc and cca in sec sch is really diff. in sec sch, the teachers are guiding you all along, but in jc, its more or less up to your own talents to bring the cca up or down. wonder who should i select as my successor to continue... urgh... lets kiv the subject first. fund raising will also be done after the holidays. so guys! pls do show your support yeah! haha...

now martin is beside me waiting for his com to start. actually it has started after i finished my last sentence already. so its kryst to my right, martin to my left. haha.. its nice to be surrounded by close friends...

sch lib

2007-03-07T21:45:00.000-08:00

cny

2007-02-17T07:36:00.000-08:00

for most kids, cny is prob the best part of the year, due to all the goodies as well as the ang baos. but for me, cny is a commeration of our chinese culture in a cosmopolitian city such as singapore, where ones roots are easily lost. especially in my sch where the english culture is much more celebrated than their chinese counterparts. however, many of us noticed a distinct change in this tradition, especially from the cny performance. even the teachers were amazed. when they dropped the curtain, i saw mrs chans round of applause in approval, and i suddenly felt all that i have been thru is worth it. not that i m looking for solace in winning the approval beside me, but it makes things so much easier to bear.

as i was watching the chinese orchestra (CO) performing, i began to think about what the chinese were thinking as they used their imagination to create this culture that has been handed down for ten thousands of years. as the chinese call themselves the people of splendor and their country the middle kingdom, the music really reflected this spirit in them. most of the music made you feel that there is a sense of majestic and splendid aura around. it was then that i really felt proud to be chinese.

just now when i was at the reunion dinner, i began reflecting again. probably i have grown more mature or smt, but i began to appreciate my family status. smt quite natural to me, changing cars every few years or having two cars to go out in, is actually quite a luxury to some others. to someone who just changed their car, it is prob smt to be proud of this cny. but to me, i have been ferried around in a merz and yet i m still complaining. what a snob i have been! and when i have been splurging my pocket money away, many others are living from hand to mouth, scrimping and saving whenever they can. i felt really bad that dinner. they are not exactly poor, prob earning more than my dad, but not wasting even a scrap of food. it really pricked my conscience and hence my new year resolution is to be more thrifty, as each cent is earned with sweat and blood!

now on a lighter note, its one minute to the year of the pig! haha... let me wish all of you a very happy chinese new year!

chinese culture

2007-02-14T03:57:00.000-08:00

today was the full dress rehearsal for cny. first up were the chinese orchestra. they were very good man. i think it would take super alot of practises to get to their standard. for CLDDS, it was quite average. but i think we have the potential to go further. so keep trying guys!

actually, i just finished watching a serial on tv. this serial was talking about this family that is reunited after the daughter was lost for several years. at first, i was quite touched. then i began to think. the chinese do value family ties much much more than themselves. i feel that this is really the pride and acme of our culture as the chinese are very united. this can also be seen in world war two when our forefathers gathered together to pool whatever little money they have back to china to help the chinese fight the war against the japanese. you would think that they are in singapore for so long, they would have began to grow their roots in the singapore soil. but no! they are still thinking about their families in china. this is why i m proud to be chinese. unlike the americans, whose divorce rate is enormously high, i would rather appreciate a complete family.

another thing that i have been thinking about is about the feminist movement. i do agree that for one, the female counterpart is as capable as the male species. however, alot of times, God has given us different capabilities for a reason. like for example, the singapore political field is very much male dominated. this could be due to the age old idea that the male is always the strong one in the family, and the female is always subservient. thus, we always look up to the male as the decision maker and the pillar of support. this could even be seen in families where the dad takes the leading role is bringing up the kids to adulthood. if the mum were to take the role instead, there will be an upset of balance in order in the family. nonetheless, mother's bring up boys, fathers bring up men. hence, both are blessed with different capabilities for a purpose.

first blog of the year

2007-01-26T07:20:00.000-08:00

i just realised that the last time i blogged was in 2006... haha... so tis is more or less the first blog of the year.

went back to SJI campfire just now and it totally rocks my socks off man. i m beginning to fall deeply, madly and throughly in love with my alma mater.

and i m super tired from my cca! urgh.. hate women who give trouble. but what the heck, still got to live with them for the rest of the year. poor me. haha..

christmas!

2006-12-25T02:06:00.000-08:00

i m back from hibernation. blogging hibernation i mean. i havnt blogged since ten thousand years ago, and i guess even laraine has already given up on asking me to blog huh.

its christmas now, my favourite time of the year. its a time only meant to be shared with the people who are close to you. and the message behind Christ bringing hope and peace to the world makes the whole season special. as i saw somewhere, it says "Jesus is the reason for the season". fully agreed.

however, christmas also means to pupils that sch is reopening, and that its time to catch up on all the unfinished hw. feeling super sian now. i have waited a whole year for this holidays, and it just passed me without even a single warning. how could time do that to me?! feeling abit cheated here. urgh, i want more resting time! but i guess all of us do. and all good things got to come to and end, now its the time to wake up.

lets take a look at what i have done over the holidays. for the first few weeks, my pw group and i were working towards the oral presentation. i guess it was kind of like a repeat of the sji days, whereby every level got a project work to do. soon after op, mayue left us for china, leaving cldds without a teacher in charge and its back to sji scenario. whereby i got to start from scratch without any guidence. after the oral presentation, i began work at Grand Hyatt Singapore. i got the work there thanks to eighth aunt adeline. i wanted to work there as i want to know how the restaurants operate and it was more for the working experience, not so much the money. although the company there was good, my collegues are quite friendly, the managers there were really terrible and the regime was horrible. i guess its a balance of good and bad, just what the public can see. i was glad and sad to leave the job. esp cos of huda who made things so interesting.

after that was my own time, spent it quite unproductively. i was shopping around, mostly for ZQ and PW's present. the rest of the presents were settled quite easily. so fast its christmas. and thank you rui qi for my first christmas present. its very interesting.

now that christmas is almost over, its time to plan for the next year. i think i might make certain changes, like my study habit, it got to be more consistent. although alot of help is needed from ZQ. and i might move over to city harvest church with PW. another goal i set for myself as well as the ac chinese drama is to upkeep the gold with honours achievment that the seniors set. of course, not to mention academically wise, i would like to get all A's for my subjects. and to attain this feat, it would need alot of work and effort. no more playing and slacking from 2007. of course, these are only the majoy goals that i mentioned. minor goals include getting at least a silver for NAPFA and what not.

i think i shall end here for the time being. hopefully i got the time to blog again before 2007.

back

2006-12-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

i m back! my apologies those people who have been reading my blog but not finding anything new.

recently i was working, and i didnt exactly have enough time to rest, much less blog about my daily life. and yet i m still growing fat. well, at least i got some budget for my christmas present already. i think i would be getting one for charlie, pei wei, ben seck, laraine and zhi quan. man, i still feel broke. but it is worth the while, seeing their happy faces.

working really pushed me to study harder, as that is not the level in society i would be contented with. in the past, when i worked with Cheers, work was so easy and it took the meaning out of working. but this time around, i got what i wanted, but i was still not happy. when i got the waitering job, i complained that the customers are not appreciative. when i got the job of dryng the utensils, i complained that it was too boring. when i got the job of carrying the big tray, i complained why couldnt other ppl do it. then i started looking around at my collegues, and they were very happy and contented with life. they were very disciplined and very optimistic. them being around really helped me in my job. its only then that i realised that i was not disciplined. that was the problem with me. i should change if i want to survive man.

i want to do so many things in the holiday, but i got so little time. i want to revise my jc1 suff, and also cover abit on my jc2 stuff. i want to enjoy myself, exercise and prepare for the army, teach kai meng well, get all the christmas presents in time and the list goes on. guess i will really have to plan my time well.

pw

2006-11-05T00:50:00.000-08:00

finally, one more day to op. will be so glad when its over. at ben's house now. his mum is really nice.

smt my friend sent to me

2006-10-27T22:34:00.000-07:00

this is a really touching story. pls do read it.

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained with one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red, so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door.

There were still cards to be written.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."- Philipians 4:13."

For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

If you feel the same way, forward it so the love of Jesus will also touch their lives. My "People I shared the gospel with" file just got bigger, how about yours?

2006-10-16T03:13:00.000-07:00

hmm... so long never blog already... why m i always starting with this line? must make it a point to blog more frequently.

these few days the haze really bad.. even my throat is getting bad... should drink more water man... hate it when it happens... cant the farmers be more civilised?

on fri was the open house... was a rather waste of time on my booth... spent my time selling ice cream and playing games with safiqah and the mcs ppl...

AND PW IS GETTING ON MY NERVES... haha... the stupid wr and the I&R and the oral... so many things to be done! and so little time... MOE should get rid of PW... oh man.. we should have done this topic instead of the stupid sexuality education... haha...

and the haze is seriously bad... as i look out of my balcony, i can hardly see the skyline...

promos

2006-09-22T05:58:00.000-07:00

damn... one week left to promos... and still counting down... things between me and ms ho are getting better... less icy at least... everything is still very far behind... so much to cover.. so little time... and yet i m still blogging... i wonder why...

been quite troubled lately... over studies, and hell lot of other nonsense things... next week my parents would be out of singapore... i should feel quite happy as i finally got my freedom... but then lies the burden of having to look after my siblings... getting quite weary as i still have to manage the revision for my own promos... i think the possibility of me staying back is far greater than any of my siblings... but yet i still have to go and look after them, run after them, make sure they are well and fed... all at my expense... i really dunno what to do... the pressure is building up... and i have no where to run away to... can anyone help me here? just this once? i really need it...

have been studing my life out recently... still cant grasp alot of nonsense concepts... and everyone thinks i m doing well... it sucks to have this feeling and no one to comfort you... not even one single person... the last time i had such pressure, i had my cell group to pray for me... now they have grown so distant, i also dun feel like troubling them...

ARGH... now i know how peter pan feels... how never to grow up and always stay young... oh talking about staying young, rui qi commented that i look younger than i did in sec two... i was like omg... well... i shall take it in a positive light... haha...

i feel like crying... but no one to cry with... i feel like complaining.. but no one to complain to... i feel like panicking... but no one to comfort me... i suddenly feel very alone and helpless... (ps. its a synonym for independent)... i feel like suddenly all the people around me are like phantoms... looks like they are always there... always behind you... but when you turn around... you find that you are all alone...

sometimes... it is really true that the widest and brightest smiles hide the deepest troubles...

holidays

2006-09-10T01:26:00.000-07:00

this holiday has really been a waste of time man. all i did was slacking. on monday, i went to paint the banners and met amos for dinner. on tues, went to the club to practice golf. on wed, went to sch in the morning for some chem lec which i think i already understand, then after that got some gp timed assignment. then went to holland v with ben and kyrst for tea. on thurs i met zq to study at the lib, but only managed to finish my hw, esp the econs, and i still havnt touched bio. oh ya, we were ice skating on thurs too. it was super fun. i think that it is the best day of the holidays. on fri i was slacking away at home. watched some army video on youtube. on sat, i met zq again at the lib, this time, i managed to cover abit of chem and maths. and today is sunday already. it is super a waste of time la. i wish the holidays were longer. and i want a study break! i think it would be more efficient that way. rather than wasting my time in sch. i think i should do a jiesi. haha... ok i m damn mean.

urgh... damn sleepy now... ohya.. the new plasma tv would be coming today... quite excited over it. haha... beats the projection tv that we have been using for the past ten thousand years.

actually i wanted to go shooting over the holidays. but i figured out that even if i shoot, it would be a waste of time as i would still be stopping over the promos. kinda getting slack now.

past few days

2006-09-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

i have not been free to blog for the past few days, mainly due to the commitment to the CCS. now is the time to blog.

one thing that i really wanted to blog for very long is that day that hoong khit brought me to warren country club to play golf. he was really cool and nice and taught me alot of strokes and corrected my flaws. and he did that at the expense of his own practice. he was really great and THANKS ALOT HOONGS!

lets skip over the depressing things and fastforward to yesterday shall we? yesterday in the morning i was doing the chem CA. it was kinda dumb, because they only give you five minutes to do 25 questions, which is really impossible given my standard. so i took my own sweet time and ended at 11.20 when i was supposed to end at 10.50. hopefully i m not marked down for it. after that i went to do the banner painting at the bleaches in school. had loads of fun with carol, liju, kryst and eugene. carol painted all over me and i painted all over eugene. then got burned by the thinner because i stupidly used it to remove the paint. oh ya, the paint got some chemical in it that is especially difficult to wash off. even from the brushes. damn stupid. yeah.

after that, was rushing home to change and go out to meet amos for my birthday treat! haha... its very belated but better late than never! went to nydc (everytime he brings me for a treat, it is always my first time there! looks like i have to go for more exposure, haha...) and we had this three amigos. it was kind of like, there is three kinds of meat in there, the minced meat, the sausage and the ham. and we had it the oven baked style plus rice. it was not too bad, but could taste the burnt taste. but the cheese was very good. amos sprinkled like half the container of cheese into his rice. he kinda regretted it due to the amount of fats and what not that he put into himself, but ah well, carpe diem right? over the meal, we had loads of catching up to do because we havnt met for so long! oh ya, he is ord-ing on his birthday! thats super cool! haha... oh and he gave me this handmade wire, twisted into my name. i think it is the best present that i have so far, and the most meaningful too! it definately beats all the "over the shelf" presents hands down. and he also mentioned that he is going into the U already. but he intends to work first. so anyone with information about jobs from dec to march, do tell me ya!

after that, we went looking for watches as it was high time i changed my watch already. we saw quite lot of nice watches but didnt have the money to buy it as it was about four hunderd dollars. guess we have very expensive taste! haha...

ok. got to go now. blog again another time ya...

finally

2006-08-25T09:14:00.000-07:00

haha... finally i can log in to that stupid blogger website... its kinda retarded... but anyway, havnt exactly have the time to blog these few days...

yest went to the al Qaheda talk... or how you spell it... the lecturer was quite good... but the stupid old man that keep asking, "so my qn is.... "is damn irritating... cant he get to the pt.... well... he is prob not from singapore anyway... and martin was really funny on the way there... lysia and i were disturbing him about m&ms when the other "M" was just sitting right in front of us... and think she still dunno anything... which makes it even more hiliarous..

today went to watch click. it is a really touching show and it is the first time i was so touched i shed tears in the cinema... think its super good... i loved the company tonight... was rather relaxing... really like you guys!

one more month to promos...

IMCB

2006-08-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

now in some stupid com lab doing research on the IMF when the teacher could just tell us about it and save us all the trouble. talk about teaching less and learning more... they are no doubt teaching less as we got to do our own reserach but how do we know what we can trust?! ah well, smt about students being smarter nowadays...

was at the IMCB on thursday and friday, learnt alot of interesting stuff like neural differentiation, found out how cells put out exons and then how do cells produce cytoskeleton. we also used alot of high tech equipment like a microscope linked to a computer that can generate the image and it is super clear. furthermore, there are brilliant scientists that guide us along the way and explain what is going on behind the experiment to us! i would definately go for another experiment like that...

doors

2006-08-01T03:55:00.000-07:00

its really true that when God closes one door, you might be very broken hearted! but it also holds true that God will open up another door for you... however, this door might not what you think is perfect, what you think its ideal. however, God also mentione that " My ways are higher than your ways, and so are My thoughts your thoughts." hence, i shall just accept it and place my whole trust in Him and walk through this door.

perhaps what God wants is for me to really trust and obey him, more than my personal glory. now, i m really like a pawn, like a empty vessel in His control rather than my own. but this is a really difficult process. hence, pls pray that God will grant me the strength and the ability to do His will. also, pray for wisdom and guidence from Him to run this race, and that i will honor and glorify Him!

also pray that non-believers will go for the FOP, i m trying my best to get my friends to go too! pray that it will be a success and that hundreds if not thousands of hearts will be reached!

thanks!

grace

2006-07-23T03:28:00.000-07:00

been quite busy for the past few weeks, term exams, getting them back, experiencing the "fruit of the labour" as well as the failed crops... these are the kinda things that really make jc life interesting... now trying to make the failed crops grow again by spending most of my time in the library with my good friend. taking a break now and blogging... haha...

yesterday went to chc with my best friend. really thankful that he has come to know God and that he is growing well and strong. those reading my blog, can you do me a favour? pls pray with me that his family will come to know God too! he is really enthusiastic about it but dunno how to approach them. do pray that God will be with him and give him signs and renew his confidence. it is really heartening to see him grow in God...

i dunno if its time to move on to chc as orpc is getting too "stale" for me. pls pray that God will give me hints too! thanks! :D

shit

2006-07-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

I SPRAINED MY ANKLE TODAY DURING PE! and now its freaking painful... hopefully it recovers fast... if not i wouldnt be able to shoot! :(

went to city harvest church... brought there by my close friend... its a really nice and warm church... very suitable for evangelism... maybe can bring my friends there! haha...

gtg now... blog again another day...

winter

2006-07-13T06:04:00.000-07:00

i asked my good friend whats bothering him, and he told me his life is as if its in winter now... and it suddenly dawned on me how God puts each and every one of us in places for Him to use...

for me, winter is a time when i feel its the best time of the year, as i feel the warmest in winter... both figuratively and literally... when its "winter" and all things dun seem to work out, someone always comes to my aid and helps me out... now maybe its time to pay it forward... and when i go to winter countries, it is always with the ppl that are very close to me, hence, i feel very warm in my heart, away from all the fighting and depressing stuff in the world. now, i can be optimistic even when the going goes tough, and be the one who gets going when the going gets tough.

m very happy these few days as i got "assigned" my own gun... its a really nice feeling, that of a gun specially reserved for your use... hmm... maybe i might buy my own gun in future...

sians

2006-07-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

today went to church... the sermon was super boring sia... was switched off all the way... think its time for me to move on... prob next sat gg to pei wei's church... lets see how things goes...

went shooting on fri... damn pissed off at what happened at safra i tell you... sucks to the core... seriously...anyways, met a really nice guy there, and he spent quite some time teaching me... really grateful and he is really nice... think maybe next time i see him, shall give him a treat or smt to thank him... and now i think i reached eight grouping... heh... aiming for a nine grouping now...

nowadays the weather damn hot sia.. luckily today rain alot...

off to do hw now...

sch

2006-07-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

now in sch doing some chinese project.. very thankful that i got ma yue as my chinese teacher... otherwise i really dunno what to do... some people just dunno how to think for others...

cant wait for sch to end.. at least tmr is a half day! yay! haha...

outing went wrong

2006-06-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

yesterday was the last paper for the week. initially thought we (the guys in my class) could go out and have a gathering and fellowship of our own. but then we met the gals from our class going out too and they asked us to join them. we galiantly agreed and went orchard together. the ride there was fun filled and very entertaining... esp with kalai... she and her nonsense never stops... haha... anyways.. first thing we did when we went to orchard was to go and take neoprints... for some reason or another, we stupidly left all our bags outside and went in to take neo prints... and less than five minutes later, we happily walked out to find that someone has been through our bags... and took all the girls valuables, hand phones, wallets with ics , mp3s etc etc... what a quick worker that fellow was... and all twelve of our eyes didnt see anyone at all...

told faith to make a police report by calling them up to investigate, but she declined for some reason... after like one hour then she decide to call the police... talk about smart alecs... anyway, they came up in five minutes but spent another half an hour investigating... all this time we had not had lunch and heng bin and charlie had to go off already... so we (kalai, nabilah, martin, charlie, hengbin and me) went off to cine to take our lunch....

met andrea there, she was with nicholas... duno how they meet but i supposed andrea had a way... haha... ok... saw balls and aaron there too... quite freaky... maybe next time i shall not hang out in orchard with all the freaky things happening already... may pasir ris? haha... jkjk...

then after the movie with ariel, (we watched just my luck.... literally!)i went home... on the way home, i met lmc... caught up on times and had dinner together... then i went to the airport to send heng bin off... but due to miscommunication, and after spending two hours on the stupid bloody train that took so long, i still didnt get to see him off... cos his flight was too late... kanna screwed by my parents after that...

what a day man... and chem paper was a killer too... maybe the calander was wrong... should have been friday the thirteenth... but things could have been worse... so i shall stop complaining like a spoilt kid...

exams!

2006-06-27T03:53:00.000-07:00

urgh... i hate exams... cant be bothered to study anymore... and two days he say want to go librbary and study and two days he pang sei me already.... feeling abit cheated here... just abit only.... what the hell man... the com just played the song, making love out of nothing at all.... no connection....

some times i wish i got a best friend, who is the same age as me and has the same hobbies as me... one who has the same subject combination as me so that he can teach me... one who enjoys what i enjoy... prob dun have cos i think no one in singapore is in the same predicament as me... i hate it man... i thought i can find at cca, and then dun have... then later i see ppl's class so bonded, and mine is so screwed up... then i try to keep the old friends but they all have their own ccas and their own life... its time that i make an exit from their lifes... feel like shit man... damn depressed now...

IS ANYONE OUT THERE?!

prob i m living in my own world and it doesnt really exist... feel like crying, just melting into the night and not be seen again... everyone would just carry on their own life, their own schedules, and no one would really notice... just as i m always the one who start the conversation, just as i m always the one who calls and plans... no one really asks me to join their group...

thus, this is my birthday wish for this year... to find a good friend who can stick with me thru thick and thin... whom i can have fun with and whom i can suffer with!!!!

birthday

2006-06-21T06:09:00.000-07:00

thanks man... had like seventeen ppl who messaged me on my hp and goodness knows how many on msn to wish me a happy birthday... but i like the number seventeen cos i m officially sevventeen now... heh... feel old man...

just came back from china... went to guangzhou... in guangzhou got alot of places i went to such as chuxi, chao zhou, guangdong, and shan tou... think the place that struck me the most was chuxi... there got alot of those olden chinese houses which were so beautiful... the most beautiful of which was the tulou... (earth building)... it was made of rice and clay... super cool... and it has a very defensive stand, having only one small entrance to a very huge building.. and it was built by hands...

well... all good things must come to and end and thus i m back in singapore... with only less than one week to go... its full steam ahead to my terms... damn sian... but luckily got afew good studying partners... there to liven things up and encourage me along! feel really fortunate...

back

2006-06-07T06:35:00.000-07:00

hey man... sorry guys... those that have been checking my blog for updates... have been rather busy lately... so cant blog as often... shall try to change my habit of being a irresponsible blogger...

got quite a number of good things to share with you guys... and quite a negative things happen too...

start with the negative first... leave the best for the last right? quarrelled with some classmates over some stupid chinese project... until now still pending.... and then aruged with another classmate during pw... think project is so not for me... seem to be getting into quarrels cos of it...

now the good stuff... been gg for alot of cca recently... esp shooting... prob i will quit golf already... cant really handle... plus, the fees are getting sky high... ok.. back to shooting... my shooting is getting better already... hopefully can get into sch team this year... want to spend more time studying next year...

went for the pc show on sunday... got myself a samsung laptop... its really cool... the lcd screen is damn clear and damn good... the sound system is also top notch... esp the surround sound system... quite happy with what i have...

i think i m very very fortunate... i got everything a teenager can ask for... really all the wants and the needs have been settled... really thank God for plaving me in such a family... and his continual protection and guarding of me... really really feel very thankful and fortunate...

sorry

2006-06-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

restless

2006-05-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

today i went to watch restless after the last day of sch. finally its the time of the year again. yes its the holidays. but then again, i only have five days to myself for the whole holidays. dun seem to be much of a rest. and the choong was so totally being a pain cos she said we had to redo the whole gpp. and my group ask me to do it on a monday. when i have the most activities on. so damn bloody irritating!

went to swensens after that with my good friend. saw miss baljeet there together with mrs joyce saw. and when mrs saw saw us, she say she will give us one demerit point la... what the hell... think she is just joking, cos she dun think i have four gfs does she? ah well... had the fish and chips in swensens and then had the unlimited scoops of ice cream again. this time, the rum and rasin was very nice as you can really taste the rum inside. had about three scoops of rum and rasin in total. altogether, i had about seven scoops. way below my personal best. what a waste. but nvm, shall go back some time.

after that, went to the florist with zhi quan to get flowers for eugene.got seen by miss azlina and was running about in the heavy rain. was total madness. then after that dunno whether to take bus of catch a cab. in the end, we took the bus cos the queue for the cab was so long, it was no pt waiting. so got there fifteen minutes late.

ok, now about restless. the first part was quite anal, with raj hurrying me and zhi quan to get in. but zhi quan's friend have yet to reach, so we couldnt get in yet. finally she got here but only got single seats left. feeling quite pissed, we went in. oh ya, my dear classmates conveniently didnt reserve seats for me. many thanks for that. after seating down, the show began, it was quite ok, relatively up to standard (ps my standard of everything is very high, so it is quite ok) but still lacking in some portions. i think the best part is the part of dancing to the song about dedicating your life to Christ. it was super touching. and it was super good. the rest of the dance is rather random, not at all in tune to the theme of restless. and benjamin was so stiff in his dancing. definately could do with some improvement. eugene was hiding behind most dances most of the time. so infurating, but then the parts that i saw was quite good, prob due to the time when he got practise on sji stage. hence he got not stage fright. josephians all the way! candice was also rather good. with the retro dance.

overall score for restless, 7/10. ya i know there is alot of hard work involved, but then again, it didnt live up to reputation. so yup. here is your score.

sians

2006-05-19T20:34:00.000-07:00

kanna told off by the same person like countless times this week... although i only attend sch two days... made up my mind to ignore her... but usually i will forget and start talking to her again. MUST REMEMBER OK!

ok... frustrations aside... chinese drama won gold with honours... ac won chinese drama, and even beat hci... think we can be called Chinese-Anglo junior college already... lol...

next week is the last week of sch... dunno why every morning i wake up also dread going to sch... hopefully this will be a good break for me...

i love my daddy

2006-05-06T00:43:00.000-07:00

dad may sponsor me a gun to practice with... i love my daddy!!!

weekend at last

2006-05-06T00:16:00.000-07:00

ahh... finally its the weekend... been super stressed out the past week with all the catching up of the hw, its stressing me out. so went out yest to go and watch movie with my friend. watched mi three. it would have been a good show if not for the first row seating. i would rather not watch, but then my friend bought the ticket already. so just might as well. quite thrilling actually. but the ending was rather corny. could have been better. anyone up to go and watch the poseiden next week? haha... going with chun ling already. bad luck guys... haha..

on fri, while waiting for drama to start, amy, ben and i went to swensens at holland v to eat. both of them had fish and chips while i just watched them cos i had eaten my lunch already. then i took the unlimited offer for the ice creams, where by you pay one buck and then you get unlimited scoops of ice cream. now its amy's turn to watch us.. hehe.. ate like almost eight scoops of ice cream i think. haha.. quite worth it.. but what i like most about the interaction with my classmates. think its worth it.

had bio test on fri. was kinda screwed. cos i didnt exactly study for it. just glanced through. hopefully can do well. having like four tests next week and still blogging here. but ah well... cant really be bothered anymore.

had drama rehearsal yesterday. was kinda boring as i was just in charge of playing music. but then lijia laoshi showed the ppl who are not acting a video clip, was quite taken a back by its contents. but what was the most hiliarious was yuan shan's reaction when she saw the video. she was so innocent that she blushed and blushed. think it was redder than a tomato. she didnt realise at first but then lijia laoshi explained it to her and she groaned and screamed. haha.. was so funny. then the cast wanted to see it but erica didnt allow.. haha... it was rather entertaining..

well... off to catch up on my maths tutorial now... blog again another time.

stressed

2006-05-01T02:58:00.000-07:00

got the news at seven pm on the same day that acj chi drama got into the finals.Glory be to God in the highest. considering that we are from acj, getting into the finals is really a miracle. however, this is a "damn if you do, damn if you dun" situation. although i may be very glad and thankful that we got into the finals, it also means that i got to give up another two weeks of studying to cope with the busy schedule. moreover, i also got shooting and golf. really itching to go and practise them but go not time. also, i think mr rama and kiwi are not very happy with me ponning so many practises already. really dunno what to do. can anyone teach me?

damn stressed now. was chionging hw from twelve noon today. up till now, only managed to finish eng compre and the pi. still left chinese compo to do. dun think i will be able to finish. argh... feeling so stressed now. with all the hw and revision piling up, this week still got one tonne of tests to go through. i still have not studied my bio yet. i m gonna be so dead. i think i also need alot of help in maths already. with the stupid tutorial teacher not doing anything, i really dunno how am i going to pass my promos.

oh ya, i heard that sji tramp didnt do so well. as i told deb tan that i was training them and she dun believe me, this is what will happen to them when i m not around. all well, its also partially due to the coach fault that you guys didnt do so well. time to get him fired. haha... i m evil.

ok, time to get back to my chi compo now.. blog again another time k?

stressed

2006-04-29T01:24:00.000-07:00

finally todays the day of chinese drama competition. it is a drama co organised by lian he zao bao and some other arts organisation. most of the top schools are there, including some from the polytechinques. it was quite a tough battle. all the jcs were so strong. there were ppl from rj and hci as well. think its gonna be tough. but again, the best is yet to be. so keep your hopes up guys!

we spent like ten thousand hours practising and practising. but now, there is a sense of team spirit in the group. so it relieves abit of the madness that we are going thru. then i was thinking back of my time in sji, and i realised that i didnt know anything but suffering. what a waste of my time in sji. now its kinda like in a santury, with peace and friends all supporting me. i think ACJ is a really cool place to be.

the teachers here are very supportive and looks after us very well. teachers like mdm azlina and mdm ma yue. i think that mdm ma yue is the only chinese teacher in sch that i really respect and admire. hence, i dun mind helping out to the best of my capability, including in chi drama.

another person that i really feel thankful for is cheryl. i think that she and i have very good "wavelength" and we can click very well. think she is prob the only person that i will share my thoughts and emotions with. she is really one that can help to share your burdens and lift you up with her smile and her laughter. really glad that i chose to stay in ACJ.

got to go and catch up with all my hw now... its pilling up due to all the late night rehearsals for drama. even got scolded by hashim. he is so unreasonable la. anyways, really got to go now...

shooting

2006-04-19T03:44:00.000-07:00

just came back from shooting at cdans. coach was downright boring as usual. but one good thing is that i get to shoot. haha... was shooting in spirals, reminds me of the talk i attended yesterday about how one guy wrote his essay in spirals in hope of getting remembered. my grouping sucks, though the coach said it is pretty good. think if my dad saw it, he would probably freak out. haha... anyways, hope to be able to get to represent sch this year.

maths test today was screwed man. didnt finish two questions. and those two were the questions that carried the most marks. sigh... think i would probably fail it. there goes my hope of taking maths h3. but will work hard for other tests. hopefully i will get the chance to take h3 maths.

going for some bio medical quiz. hopefully i can learn something out of it.

busy

2006-04-17T05:54:00.000-07:00

this few days rain non-stop... its a good thing as in it cools down the weather, bad thing is that the next few days sure got alot of mosquitoes... well... just live for the moment... haha...

pe today was shiong... pull up and more pull ups... now my arms aching like siao... hopefully tomorrow would be better... haha...

got like so many tests in jc la... every week also have... sighs... feeling kinda tired now... feel like going to sleep... but still got so much still have not studied!!! argh!!!

shall go talk to ppl to destress now.. haha...

bankrupt

2006-04-13T07:29:00.000-07:00

went with jia xing today in the end... all the ppl all go and pang sei me... kryst and ben esp... haha... but maybe ben can be excused cos he is not feeling well... get well soon ya!! haha... jia xing the best... really keep to his word...

went to watch "keeping mum" and "eight under" with jia xing today... originally only wanted to watch one movie... but feel like watching another after watching keeping mum... so we watched eight under... now having sever backache... haha...

they are really nice shows.. keeping mum is for laughter, eight under is very emotional.... think they are worth the weekend rate...

after that we walked around... and i saw jason... haha... was kinda elated to see him... so long never talk to him already... and he is much taller now... haha... last time used to be shorter than me... now about same height already...

thinking of organising a 208 gathering during the june holidays...

sick

2006-04-09T00:12:00.000-07:00

argh... was sick with some stupid nose infection these few days... woke up on friday morning and then my nose was super pain... went to sch and couldnt tahan... so went to see the doc... the doc gave me four days of antibiotics... and i think its super strong as you have to take two at one time... anyways, the doc refused to give me mc for mon and tues... how ironic... haha...

anyways, was super touched when lysia and a few others from sc8 messaged me to find out how i am recovering... haha... this is what real frienship should be like... finally know how much i was missing in sji... anyways, will really treasure the time i have in acjc...

all the best sc8!

forget the past

2006-04-06T05:05:00.000-07:00

URGH! i think its high time for me to forget the past and get on with life brand new. the reason i came to acjc is to start anew and not to be hindered by my past. i think i m doing myself a disservice by not letting go of the past and handing it to the Lord. its about time already. i have carried the burden for too long. it is taking its toll on me.

JOSHUA! LIFT ALL YOUR BURDEN UNTO THE LORD!

know God, know peace. no God, no peace...

its friday again

2006-03-31T01:12:00.000-08:00

haha... just finished linking all my new friends in acjc... at least, whose blog i know... haha... looks like its going to rain again... sian... but looking on the bright side, at least the weather is gonna be cooling...

today's maths lesson was so pissing me off.. the maths tutor is like so senseless... but at least now he is getting better... less of his antics...

bio test today was quite ok... only unsure about the phospholipid qn... think should be able to do quite well... but again.. nothing is sure man.. haha...

thinking of playing golf at keppel tomorrow... anyone up to join me?

so long

2006-03-29T04:27:00.000-08:00

wah! so long never blog already cos i was super busy for the whole of this week, and the last, and the week before last. well, you get my point. must blog if not ppl keep asking me why i never blog and stuff, right lysia? haha..

yups.. oh by the way i joined chinese drama too... think i better quit guitar soon... otherwise i may not be able to cope man... haha..

went for golf today... got a formal introduction to golf at last... haha...quite a cool and relaxing game... quiet and serene... i like that... haha... after the intro we went straight in to the game itself... managed to pitch the ball to about 150 to 200 post... haha... then later prac my chipping and worked up a sweat... pretty fun and cool... think i will begin to love golf man...

better go and get myself in the mood to study now... got a bio test on fri...

elated

2006-03-18T05:42:00.000-08:00

YAY!!! haha.. so elated today... went to pei wei's house today... and he shared with me a really great news... haha... so happy for him... now i got a glimpse of how the angels in heaven rejoice when the prodigal son comes home... woohoo... haha... its a really great feeling... haha...

school restarting soon... haha... got to start mugging already...

holidays!

2006-03-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

ahhhh.... the holidays are finally here. waited so long for the torturous lectures to be over and done with. finally i can get some break.

oh ya... did i mention that i got into the school shooting team? there was like 170 ppl who signed up for the shooting. 150 who took the test but only got ten who can make it in... and i m one of the ten... haha... guess its due to my genes... hehe... hopefully i can make it into the shooting team this year... haha...

well... gonna take a break this holidays to charge up my battery, for the long long school term that is going to come so soon... haha...

cheering

2006-03-06T05:27:00.000-08:00

YAY!!! lawrence house has won cheering again! haha.. looks like i have left my legacy well... haha... way to go man... haha... must win the house cup as well ya! haha...

church

2006-03-04T22:59:00.000-08:00

went for youth today to support laraine... haha... must pray for her... for continued support and strength as she serves God and manages her school work at the same time... haha...

must say that it is quite an improvement since the last time i went there... like the worship is better ( although still the lack of drums, or prob why its better cos there is no sub standard drummer which spoils everything) and the sermon was better ( or prob just due to uncle peter preaching)... haha... either way... its still a much better improvement from last time... haha...

however, there are still alot of things to improve on... like the EQ of the birthday IC and the urshers... haha... first thing that i dun want to be reminded of is that i was five minutes late for church! urgh...haha...

well... just wishing all the best for the youth...

oh ya... and i m still in acjc... and unfortunately, some undesirable ppl got in! urgh... nvm... i shall try to leave the past behind and start all over again with those feminine people... oops... smt about starting all over.. but its a fact anyway.. haha.. but there are still alot of great ppl inside though... the "powerhouse" hazel... haha... and alot of cool josephians such as michael, joe fai and eugene soo! haha.. and most impt of all, my OG ppl... haha... lily, robert, ester and WANNIE... haha...

guitar

2006-02-27T05:55:00.000-08:00

school just rock today man! some ppl just dunno how to shut up during assembly... talk and talk and dun care about other people's devotion or worship... so bloody hell irritating... if they think catholic worship is better, why dun just go cj? why want to come acjc and make a nuscience out of themselves? maybe i m being too sensitive, but i dun like ppl talking during worship... so rude...

went for guitar today... and i realised that i forgot to bring my guitar... haha... luckily the STI has extra guitar... and then played with aaron... then we shared a cab home... and his home is like super nice la... haha... but he dun want to invite me in... sob sob... haha... well.. its alright man... haha...

shit

2006-02-26T03:41:00.000-08:00

so much to do... so little time... haha...

went to aerospace show today... saw the a380... tell you ar... its just DROP DEAD GORGEOUS LA!!! i must have one of the model aeroplane!!! haha... saw a few other airplanes too... haha... super nice... super cool...

saw a few school mates there too.. haha...

posting

2006-02-24T19:58:00.000-08:00

oo... so fast so many weeks past already... then never blog... haha... sorry laraine and johanna for the lag... haha... was busy the past few weeks... haha... oh ya... talking about johanna... got to really thank her and her friends for the wonderful new blogskin.... its marvellously superb.... hahal....

last week was acjc funorama... spent so many weeks preparing for it... but it was worth it... got to spend quality time as a class baking cookies and baking waffles... in the end, poor simin got scalded by the waffle making machine while the rest of us got off... haha... but in the end it was worth it.. seeing people enjoying the fruits of our labour... and looking at how much we collected... haha... if i can collect $2000 for two weeks of labour, i think i should go into catering full time and quit studying already... haha...

just today, i had shooting trials... although i shot off target, but the grouping is tight... so cross my fingers and hope to get into school team... haha...

i not stupid too

2006-02-03T22:02:00.000-08:00

just finished watching i not stupid too... its a damn good show la... but a pity so little ppl watch... must go and watch k...

i really feel very fortunate and loved after watching the show... there is actually so many more ppl who are less loved than me... resulting in unfavourable behaviour... hehe... dunno if the spammers at my tag board is also due to the lack of love from their families.... nonetheless, we, as christians, must still forgive and forget... haha... and not to mention love them as well.... so that they will turn over a new leaf... haha...

i shall make a point to show more care and concern to the ppl around me...

ac rocks

2006-01-27T06:38:00.000-08:00

ac rocks man... BIG TIME... haha... the cny celebrations are like so much superior to sji lor... at least the performers are so pro... haha... not like sji... only know a little bit then try to show off... haha... what i like most about the performance today is the morden dance by the dance group... they are like going to charm the audience off their feet in applause la... and the gu zheng players are so pro... dunno how long they spend to rehearse... haha...

oh ya... when i went back to sji with nat and kenneth, we met this geog teacher... we asked her how was the performance today... haha... cos we missed it... and she said it was ok... not too bad... but the most funny thing was that she said that one of the emcees was very feminine... haha... so funny... and we all burst out laughing... cos of the way she said it... hehe... then later she asked lee siew lian who the emcees were... and lee said michael and wg... haha... guess we all know who's the feminine one... hehe...

cny is round the corner... think i will not be able to blog again before the new year... haha... so wishing one and all a happy chinese new year... and may God bless you... :)

never blog for so long

2006-01-20T07:12:00.000-08:00

haha... never blog for so long already... haha... time to update this blog man... haha...

was crashing the physics lectures and suddenly i realised that i should have taken physics instead of bio.. haha.... might change it after the first three months... oh ya... another thing is that i m considering dropping swimming... it is taking up too much of my time man... haha...

was preparing for the acjc fun o rama this week... met up with my class... got this super irritating acsi guy... might be comparable to SX... haha... but anyway... none can sink beneath him... haha... this acsi guy is still tolerable... haha... ya... decided on some crap food that i think no one will buy... not if it remains as status quo... haha... will do smt about it... oh ya... the games are kinda ok... but also can do with more improvement... haha... i still think we should have settled for fishing for live guppies... its so much more fun la... not some kinda messy balloons that the gals came up with... haha....

guess times have changed...

second week at ac

2006-01-13T04:44:00.000-08:00

wah........ the trial lectures are soooo boring... luckily its over already man... haha... fell asleep in most of them... esp gp and maths.... haha ;P oh ya... i chose my subs already... had a really tough time choosing between bio or phy man... haha... even at the last minute still choosing... really a nightmare... haha...

joined swimming, shooting, golf and library as my cca... think i m going to have a cca overload... haha... sooner or later got to drop one or two of them.. haha...but for now, i m going to enjoy myself... haha... lets talk about swimming first... the first trainning was on wed... was the briefing followed by my first ever swimming trainning... haha... i was self taught... haha... ya... and the coach asked us to swim like ten times fifty meters for warm up... really pushed myself to the limit... haha... was lagging behind by the seventh lap... haha... so after the tenth lap he put me together with the swimmers... luckily they are about my speed... with one or two slower though... haha... come to think of it... not many j1s are in swimming... haha... ya... but the team spirit is really strong... cos they play games like water polo and captains ball after the training... haha... really feel at ease there... although more than half the team are club swimmers, we could still interact and form bonds... its really cool there... haha...

yesterday i went for the shooting course... it was at cdans... so very near my house... haha... but cos i shot before in the US, so the course is not really of any use to me... haha... the real fun begins when i actually get to shoot... haha... needless to say, i shot all within target...haha... also hit bullseye a few times... haha... looks like its really gonna be tough to choose which one to drop... haha...

yup.. gonna start lectures next week... funs over man... time to get to work...

orientation

2006-01-09T20:25:00.000-08:00

haha... now that orientation is over... got alot of time to blog already... haha... acjc orientation is really living up to its reputation of being the best orientation in town... haha.. it was super fun and super cool lor.... the OGLs were so energetic and so lively, it realy rubs off onto us and we end up enjoying ourselfs... even ppl who go in with a negative impression like me has got a total 180 turn in impression... its so good.... i might consider staying on already... haha...

the first day was like crap la... cos we all dunno each other and the ice breakers were not exactly working... but nonetheless, the OGLs still managed to liven up the mood with all the cheering and the introduction... it was damn pro of them.. haha...

the second day was much better... everyone was more enthu and we learnt the first dance of the mass dance... it is this super dance... accompanied with the music with the title, pon the replay... its super fantastic... haha... then we played some games in the field and got ourselves muddy and stuff... but still enjoyed myself throughly....haha... also wiped mud on eugene soo and wanted to do the same to daryl... but he ran away and i wasnt wearing shoes.. haha... but its still damn fun la.. haha...

the third day, we learnt the second part of the mass dance... it goes with the song, black and white... another michael jackson production... but the dance steps are so totally original... really got to appluad them... haha... after that, we had this cca orientation and we got to choose our ccas... kinda signed up for almost every cca booth there...haha... but in the end.. decided to try out swimming, golf, shooting and guitar... haha... ok... we had this cca orientation in the badminton hall... which is just beside the two olympic sized swimming pools in the school... so cool right.. haha.. ya.. so after the cca orientation, we threw hazel and eugene into the pool... haha... it was kinda bad cos the water polo guys were like training and we were kinda interrupting... but they didnt mind so what the heck... haha.. wanted to throw wei jie inside too but he siamed too quickly... haha... will do so another time... haha...

the fourth day, it was the finale already... but we had our og time before the camp fire... so they actually wanted to come to my house.. but then i found out that the multi purpose hall was under renovation... so bad luck man... haha... went to lily's house instead... and her house was super cool... got six stories... imagine that... haha... and we played games like heart attack there and watched movies there... she has this huge pile of collections there... haha... then went to the roof garden and enjoyed the view there... haha... after that, we made our way back to acjc for the camp fire.. it was really great... they tied this rope into the shape of ac and the wound it with sparklers... so when the light up the camp fire... it sort of burnt and was sparkling everywhere... simply magical... haha... but after a short while, it started raining... so we went to the badminton hall and we watched a slide show of our orientation... did i mention that we saw two rainbows too... simultaneously in the same sky... haha... sort of reminded me about God's promise to noah. just that it would double fold on us... ya... the whole orientation was simply out of this world man.. its just too good to be true... haha.. the we had this mass dance... couldnt find my partner so i paired up with lily instead.. then for the second dance i danced with ester... haha... then they dismissed us and we could go home... but i danced away with yeow an instead... haha...

the whole orientation was really great... of course... many thanks to the OGLs and the student council who used the whole holidays to plan it... THANKS ALOT for giving us such a great time!!! MAY GOD BLESS YOU!!!

testing

2006-01-09T20:24:00.000-08:00

testing

last day of the year

2005-12-31T01:51:00.000-08:00

just got back from a two day holiday at desaru... haha...was really fun... got really tanned... haha... really enjoyed myself... haha... oh ya... out of the so many million times that i did sea activities like canoeing and jet ski-ing... today was the first time that i capsized... haha... so terrorising... haha... and i capsized twice some more... it was the waves that was too high... (it was definately not my driving... i think... ) haha....

sighz... today is the last day of the year already... still remember this time last year i was still having the prefects camp... time really flies... so fast i got passed out from sji already... its kinda love hate relationship... so i dun really miss it... but i miss my friends inside... ppl like brendan... ppl like pei wei... ppl like wei yi and all the others who have contributed to making my life in sji so colourful... ppl like ruben whose life motto is to be the teachers bane... haha... its really time to let go now and embrace the next year... but before that... lets have a look at the past year...

in jan i really looked forward to school... partially because its a new term again, partially because i felt that it was a year full of opportunities open to me.... and i was not wrong... i got to experience what it was like to be the leader... smt i didnt have in my primary school... its realy tough... with all the hooligans to handle... but it was really meaningful and satisfying.... whats more is that i might get to skip lessons... officially... haha... damn fun i tell you... esp the first lesson... dun like can get to drag the duty longer to avoid it.. haha.. and gym too... it was really fun...

many ppl that have made my year so colourful.. just want to thank them...but they are so many... haha... just try to list a few...

- ben seck and zhuo min first of all who stuck by me all year round and really shared all the joys and pain for me... even stood up for me on some occasions... unforgettable... may our friendship last forever...

-pei wei who shared all the sorrows and burdens and even gave me comfort and advise even when i hurt him accidentally... so sorry man... hope to see you in ac... haha.. then can make it up to you...

- wei yi, jun how and brendan who made my duty so meaningful and interesting... the world is really dull and boring without you...

- nigel who is my vice captain and all the house committee members, special mention to hahn and naz... thanks for your continual support and dedication to the house... the house shield would have been impossible to reach for without you guys...

-laraine who was a great help both in church and outside... haha..

-kenneth, a great "lamp-post" who was brought to me in times of trial...

-wang guan and all the bitches of sji who taught me the hard way that ren yaos cannot be trusted or be friends with... they will only backstab you right?

and all who have helped to colour my life.. thanks...

now for the new year resoultion... not many... but to stick by it...

-love the Lord with all your heart, all your mind and all your strength...
-go to the jc with an open heart and embrace whatever the Lord has provided for me...
-GET FIT... haha.. in preparation for NS...
-do not slack anymore... its enuf catching up to do in the O's to last a life time... haha...
- forget the past... get on with the future...

yup... thats about it... in case i ever do forget... do remind me ya... haha...

irritating

2005-12-18T22:09:00.000-08:00

life is so good without meeting ppl from sji... haha... went to hk and really enjoyed myself there... felt so happy and relaxed... now also dun feel like going to school already... haha... but must prepare myself for school... haha... school reopening in two weeks time... time to get into the mood to study... haha...

was working at cheers for the past month... its kinda fun when there are things to do, like when there are ppl buying stuff from you and having to collect cash and restock and stuff... but it gets really boring when there are no customers... haha... was working at the singapore badminton hall for the past week... the one where the korean gal died... really feel sad for her...... working also exposed me to ppl whom i never worked with before... like ppl from the lower income family, ppl who are taking N levels and ppl from all walks of life... really felt very fortunate to be born into a family which lacks nothing... i think its time i learn to stop hankering after things that are beyond my reach and start to learn to get down to earth...

a new year is coming and its time for me to start to think of my new year resolution.. haha.. when i have thought of it then i will put it down again... :)

fortunate

2005-12-01T01:42:00.000-08:00

will be going away for holiday with ben seck to hk this december... althought its a hassle arranging the flight tickets and finding the right hotel, but it has been a great experience for me... i finally get to appreciate all that my parents had done for me when i went for holidays last time... even now, i got so much help from my father... he took time to arrange for me despite his busy schedule...

sometimes, i feel very blessed to be born into this family... i can go for holiday without worrying about cash flow and i have such a capable and doting father that helps me with all things despite his busy schedule... i have a very supportive mother and sister... i have a nice condo to stay in and i dun need to worry about cash flow... i suddenly feel very blessed by God for allowing me to be born into this family...

i realised this when i went out to work... ( yes i m working now.. part time at cheers...) i see some people that have to work to supplement the family income and some people who have to work to pay for their school fees... i never really realised how fortunate i m to have my mum send me to school everyday... thats until i went to work myself... its really more convenient and comfortable to have someone to send you around...

thats my reflection for the past week or more...

sji vs ri

2005-11-16T03:36:00.001-08:00

The TruthA decade years or more ago;
Where my ancestors lived and roamed.
There lived two men of great renown;
Whose names are still well known.

Bold Raffles from Western shores;
Seek trade routes thru Eastern doors.
St. John Baptist of noble rheims;
But gave it up to bless and preach.

Both had a wish, a hope, a dream;
They hatched a daring plan.
To educate all yound minds;
Thus their schools began.

Now each of these schools;
Formed their own believe for each.
Both valued different virtues;
In the ones they had to teach.

Raffles snobbed and only accepted;
Those with a ready mind.
Where those of wit and learning;
Will always find their kind.

St. Joseph's ignored results;
Anyone worthy of admission.
Be you rich, able or poor;
As long as you've ambition.

Raffles taught them to be power-hungry;
Train them to be strong.
They teach their students cunning means;
To be the best among the throng.

St. Joseph's valued different virtues;
In the ones they sought and heed.
They taught them to be helpful and kind;
To those that are in need.

Rafflesian were smart, intelligent, witty boys;
Who couldn't hold back their lust.
They then produced a plan to quench their desires;
And RGS came at last.

You might think all boys are like that;
But Josephians are pure at heart.
Their abstainence,
chast and innocence;
Set them miles apart.

joke

2005-11-13T17:58:00.000-08:00

The best joke in a competition organized in Britain

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian.

joke

2005-11-13T09:51:00.000-08:00

The best joke in a competition organized in Britain

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese"."Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."Shocked Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian.

nothing

2005-11-05T18:58:00.000-08:00

in this past few days, when ever i hear my sister talking about the spammer, i would always feel very touched... cos God has given me such a nice sister that takes such good care of me...

some times, i wonder, why some people would rather get jealous of other people's achievements and then try to ruin their lives.... cant they get alife and leave those high fliers alone? i cant say that i did not forsee them as my friend told me when i was telling her about what i intend to achieve this year... she told me... ni yao xiao xin ( you must be careful), yin wei shu da zhao feng ( because people will be jealous of you)... well... one positive side is that they are a hall mark that i have acheived something and that i m a high flier... even psfs are jealous of me.. not that they are anything great anyway... just something for you to measure against.. :)

freedom

2005-11-04T16:46:00.000-08:00

three more days to the start of the exams... fourteen days to freedom... feeling anxious now but dun feel like studying...

pei wei's house

2005-10-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

today i went over to rj... asked to appeal in thru cca by the gym ppl in there... haha... hopefully i can get in... if not, then i might consider other jcs that need not so much intensive study... cos i want to enjoy my studies as well...

after that, i went over to pei wei's house... he was really nice and taught me all the bio that i was not sure about... after that, he let me down load the songs from his com onto my ipod... feel really fortunate to have met such a special friend as him... have not wasted all my time in sji after all...

smt adapted

2005-10-25T21:16:00.000-07:00

was thinking about these thoughts the past few days... now summarised it into these few words:

it takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it...

chem prac

2005-10-25T18:56:00.000-07:00

m blogging now cos steff asked me to blog... not really, but i dun feel like studying anyway...

chem prac today was relatively easy, at least, the titration was... you just had to calculate the concentration of the acid used... what stunned me was the finding out of the acid... both the nitrate and the chloride test tested positive, but the sulphate test tested negative... then i blur and i put down nitric acid... but then later i redo the test again and the nitrate was negative... so the acid was hydrochloric acid...

the QA part was scary... both my solution S dissolved in excess of NaOH and NH4.H20... so i put it down as ZN... but alot of my friends got AL... then i heard that the NYGH teachers said that it was ZN, so i m rather relieved...

oh ya... that david kwang said that the extension question was going to be difficult and it was the deciding factor... i got scared out of my wits la... but then it was just a simple question of designing an experiment to determine the concentration of the acid R... so easy... i think the deciding factor was the QA... whether it is ZN or AL...

nonetheless... i have prayed and i will leave it all to the Lord to settle it for me...

champion house

2005-10-22T00:17:00.000-07:00

i went back to school today... for the last geog lesson of my life... kinda irritated due to the presence of some fiend who thinks i m biased against him... but lets face it.. its the way he is...

oh ya... i met mr teo... and he told me that lawrence got the position of the champion house for the third year running... kinda gets me excited again.. gives me energy to carry on with my studies... and also made all the sacrifice worth while... all the painting of the banners... all the people who keeps challenging my authority... all the reluctant people... all the time i sacrificed from my lessons to organise things... all the scoldings i got for using gym to plan and stuff.. it really makes it worth while... been glad to be able to make a difference...

i once told someone who kept challenging my position as house captain, every leader may not be a blessing to everyone... he is only human.. he cant satisfy everyone at once... but every follower can help the leader to do it... there are only two kinds of followers... one is a blessing to the leader... the other is a curse to the leader.. which one do you rather belong to? i m sure that you will make the smart choice... and from hence forth, he never gave me anymore trouble...

for me, my blessing is to have people like nigel, jian hao, naz, and hahn to help me in all matters... my curse is to have people like perry, wang guan, yong lin and this spammer guy around me.. cos i m that important to them that they must make me give them my full attention...

guess its always a balanced world...

smt i found

2005-10-19T18:56:00.000-07:00

study study and more study... glad to have the spammer guy around to liven things up...

bio prac

2005-10-18T17:39:00.000-07:00

today is the first day of my o's already... not really nervous but hope to do well...

luckily or unluckily, the first thing i saw when i walked into the bio lab was the onions and the carrots... my thoughts were.. oh gosh... dun tell me they are the same as the prelims... cos i didnt really look into them...

unfortunately, they were... but i still can remember some of the answers... hopefully i didnt screw up...

house championships

2005-10-17T20:47:00.000-07:00

today, like always, was just another day for me.. just that it is the last day of my term in sji.. after today i will bid sji farewell for the rest of my schooling life... having mixed feelings now... on one hand, cant bear to leave all the friends and the family that i have forged at sji.. but on the other hand, i cant wait to leave behind all the politics and all the enemies or the double faced people that encompass the school community... how ironic...

went to school today, still thinking of which jc that i should go... wishing that i can go to hwa chong but i know that it is just a dream... then brendan saw me and asked me to go and raise flags.. had a pact with him that on the last day, the GL and the AGL would raise the flags... and so we did.. it was kinda a wrong day to do it, considering the time in which we had to stand there due to the prize giving ceremony... but nonetheless, it was over and done with quickly and the flag raising went smoothly... that marked the end of my term as a prefect...

after that, at the hall, i was once again filled with the negative feelings of leaving the school. i really want to remain that way always... with my friends so pure and brother like... but then i know that all good things must come to and end... so after writing my wish on the star that i folded, we carried on the ceremony with the rest of the school. then came the part of giving out the house championships...

it was really a nerve wrecking experience for me... all that i held dear is now hanging on the balance.. before he announced the results, God put a song in my heart, it was one of the christmas carols and i knew that the results were going to be good... it has happened before... once before the chinese results were released, once before the prelim results were released... thus you must always be sensitive to God and acknowledge him always.. as expected, fintan got third and lawrence got first... it was really an exuberating moment for me... my first thoughts were to thank God for his provision according to his riches above... thus Glory to God in the highest...

in this event, i would like to thank many people who have made an impact on my secondary school life...

1) God in the highest for his provision in my everyday needs according to his riches above, and sending his angels to charge over me...
2)Mrs fong who had trusted in me and gave me the chance to prove myself
3)benjamin and 4)zhuomin who stood by me when i needed them the most..
5)jonathan and 6)amos for their prayer and support
7) all my house leaders who have worked so hard and supported me in all circumstances, even when things look bleak
8) mr greg and mrs lag for their guidence and support
9)nigel selv who really helped me the most

lastly, i must really thank this person who made the most impact in my life... he is smoked me to believe that he is a good friend, one who you can depend on and who is trustworthy... but when i found out otherwise, i was really hurt and angry... i still remember that he put me down in front of everyone on his blog.. it says "how come fintan house is winning the interhouse track and field championships? what is happening to lawrence house who used to be the champion?" when he jolly well know that i m the house captain of lawrence house. i was really hurt and disappointed at that time.

i told myself, i must wake up from this beautiful dream of having a close friend in gym and face reality. thus i began to strive at each and every interhouse game. i also prayed really hard and told all my worries to God. fortunately, God gave what is deserving to me. i thank God for that.

thank you, wang guan too, if you are reading this post. thank you for hurting me so much. thank you for all the back stabbing. thank you for sending me all the troublemakers like perry. you are the one who made me to come to the decision to strive for everything that i want. now i tell you, dun be too happy to early. cos the winner takes it all and the loser stands small. i guess you know who is the real loser now right?

i started this year, praying for success in two areas. prefectorial board and the lawrence house. although things looked bleak, jonathan and amos were there to remind me to turn to God in prayer. and in the end, i got the distinction award for prefectorial board. and lawrence house won the house championships. not without a hard long fight though. but God didnt promise us that life will be smooth sailing. he just promised that he will be with us each and every step of the way.

therefore, trust with the Lord with all your heart and he will make your paths straight. GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST!

my results

2005-10-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

here are the results of my amazing results...

english - A2
A. maths - A1
geog elect + ss - A1
chemistry - A2
E. maths - A1
chinese -A1

hence, here is my L1R5.... haha... now hoping against hope to get into my dream school... HCI! haha..

i really didnt expect these results... been hoping for just good enuf results to get into a jc... but then... its truely by God's grace that i can get these pts... so thus, GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after the prelims

2005-09-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

phew... the prelims are finally over man... was playing like mad the past few days... spent over three hundred dollars... now m almost broke... haha... was watching all the movies, ranging from irrational ones like the night watch and the longest yard to the more interesting ones like four brothers and initial d... was quite cool... catching up with friends like michael, justin, kenneth and zhuomin... went ice skating too... was really cool... released all the stress that have been built inside of me during the prelims... one thing i missed was laraine.. didnt have time to meet up with her... haha... but after the o's i promise i will do smt about it... :)

went back to the church of singapore yesterday... was back because of my friends there, like guoyi, were asking me to go back many times already... turned him down a couple of times cos i was studying... felt really bad about it and thus i went back yesterday... despite the fact that i was "new" there and didnt really know alot of people... alot of people still came up to me and shook hands... i felt really welcomed... the sermon and the songs might be new.. but once i felt welcomed and accepted into the family, it didnt really matter anymore... when i left the church, there were about two hunderd members and i was the only ursher there... now, there are like three hundred in just a year and there is a team of urshers already... i was just wondering what is it exactly that made the church grow so fast... is it the pastor? is it the venue? orpc also has both but how come it is not growing as fast? some may say i m focussing too much on these worldly things... some may say i m irritating... but i remember reading that "a non-believe does not care how much you know until he knows how much you care"... is this caring issue smt that is lacking in orpc? i believed that they have set up a team to care for the church members... but i feel that a church must work as a body of christ... everyone plays an important part... just like in cosbt, its not just the urshers that welcomed me, the church members came and shook my hand by themselves and they didnt know me at all... it was easy to communicate with them and it had a "family" atmosphere in it... i feel that this is how a church should be, showing the christian love and care to anyone and everyone, instead of basing it on attendence and contribution... if i was a non-believer, i would feel more inclined to stay on at cosbt as it really "found its way into my heart"...

school is reopening tomorrow already... dunno if i would receive my results... its kinda of freaking me out, with all this suspense and terror... really hope to do well and get into a good jc for the first three months... but there is nothing that i can do now... its all in God's hands... " trust in him with all your hearts and he will make your path straight"...

my new plaything

2005-09-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

i know i damn long never post already.... but then that was cos i was busy preparing for my prelims.... its the determining factor of which jc i go to for the first three months... haha... so mugging full time now.... and my chem tutor rocks man.... she is like so good... i think i m the most pro in chem now.... haha... and i just finish my english exams... hope i did well... pray for me ya...

so many things to blog.... start first with recent events, then go into history... haha... just finished talking to ruby... and she is damn hot la.... dun believe ask her... haha... not joking.... haha....

last saturday, i went to the IT show, introduced by amos.... it was damn cool.... with all the electronic gadgets there.... it was the cormex at the suntec city.... i went there cos amos got his ipod mini... and i wanted to go and see if there is any good offer there... haha... was also looking at the creative zen.... but i still think the ipod looks cooler and its much easier to use... thus its not that i dun want to support local companies... but its just that our government believes in foreign talent.... even our government is also supportive of them.. what is there left to say? haha...

then i went over to the apple centre and took a look at the ipod... was playing with the ipod mini and this hot sales gal came to me... i think she was so much better than the one at creative who looks almost half dead... back to the story... i saw the ipod u2 being passed around and requested for a look at it... was damn impressed with it... its functions and stuff... also works better than zen... some more got the sales gal persuading me with facts... couldnt resist.... then i bought it... for those who are wondering.. its the ipod u2, colour edition... its like the coolest of all... haha... was super impressed with it and couldnt stop playing with it.. haha.. but then i also know that i got to study... damn.... haha...

anyway... feeling the need of friends now... so if got anyone that got nothing better to do can message me... haha...

YAY!

2005-08-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

just got back my chinese o level results.... i was damn nervous before that la... with everyone saying that i can do it.... and i was wondering "if i cant make it how".... really damn stressful.... nearly got an heart attack while waiting for the results to be released! haha... but luckily I MANAGED TO GET AN AMAZING A1 WITH DISTINCTION!!! haha... dunno how i made it... but i guess God's grace was everywhere.... haha... Glory be to God in the highest!

wah... feeling damn "song" now la.... feeling damn high too after all those people congratulating me.... have not felt this high since march when lawrence house won the interhouse cheering... that was also due to God's grace.... so must really put your trust and faith in Him.... haha....

but then amos told me that cannot be complacent and must now focus on my other subjects.... sian.... but so true... haha... off to mug at tuition now.... :)

today the fourth of august

2005-08-03T16:06:00.000-07:00

whew... time passes so fast... its near to my english orals already... still remember that not too long ago that i took my chinese oral... haha... well... i think that it is going to be a breeze for me since i m so profficient in it... haha... not self boasting but i got a 36/40 for my prelims oral... haha... the highest in the class so far... haha... " i want to thank my father, my mother and most of all, mr sydney tan for grooming me thus far".... haha... now i m being so irritating.... kk.. i shall stop it...

i really feel sorry for zm.... both his grandparents passed away within a span of ten days... but he seems ok, as in like he is still so playful and disturbing.... dunno how i can help him without him telling me how...

i have officially stepped down from being the lawrence house captain... my reflection about my post is that " although it is not certain that we have lost the house cup totally, i have done my best to keep it already... of course, there are ups and downs in this post, i must say that i came off enriched by this experience. i learnt how to deal with people that are troublemakers in my house, i have learnt how to deal with people that are jealous of my post, i have learnt how to deal with people that are from other houses and dunno how to keep their fat mouth shut least people will know that they are made up of shit since nothing good comes out from their mouth ( gou zhui zhang bu chu xiang ya).... i have learnt how to control my temper... experienced alot of politics, suanned by alot of people and also, have learnt how to differentiate people who stick to you because of your posts and those who are really your friends. of course, at the peak of lawrence house's glory, there are alot of people that want to be your "friends", but there will also have people who will come and congratulate you sincerly.

at the peak, there will also have alot of rumours that you did not achieve it by your own strength. then my good friend told me " if you stand straight, you dun need to worry that your shadow is crooked! rumours would just be rumours and they would die down by themselves".. i would suppose that that would how it would be like, out there in the working world. thus i m appreciative that i have learnt how to deal with it now, rather than face defeat when it is crucial. i feel that i have done my best in doing what i should to prevent a defeat, but how can one man fight against the whole army? i would also need the cooperation of my "army"!

i felt that it is a race well run and its now time to let go and hand the reigns over to the next batch of sec fours(present sec threes) and hope that they will revive the house. but then, the house master and house mistress are retiring and i really dunno who is going to take over. i just hope, in the interest of the house, that it would be someone that is responsible, innitiative and well liked.

lastly, i would like to end off with a quote from the bible: " the birds in the sky do not worry about not having enough food to eat. they do not store up in barns. even the lilies in the field do not worry about not having enough clothing to wear. i tell you the truth, even solomon in his splendor are like the grasses in the fields".... why should we worry about what is coming tomorrow when there is enough to worry about for today? leave it to God to settle everything for you... for he will provide for you according to his riches in glory... and revenge is God's to take... :)

today the 26th

2005-07-26T20:23:00.000-07:00

just realised that very long never blog already... haha... sorry about it kenneth! :(

just went to "qq" blog... although i doubt that it is gabriel, cos i dun think gabe is so "crazy" so to say to leave his URL there... haha.. but nonetheless, curiosity got the better of me and i went to take a look...

but i found that gaberiel ( gabe for short), wrote smt about me there... i was of course damn pissed but then on the hind sight, when i have cooled down, i recalled reading smt from the bible which is the parable of the servants...

it goes like this " once there was a servant who owed his master a hunderd taels of silver and he was unable to pay back. his master forgave him his debt as he took pity on the servant. however, this servant went to his fellow servant and demanded that he pay back his debt of ten taels of silver. when his fellow servant could not, he took him and threw him in jail until he could pay back his debts. when his master heard of this, he said " you evil person, i forgave you your debt of a hundred taels but you cant forgive your fellow servent of ten taels?" and the master threw him into prison until he could pay back his debts"... of course, needless to say, the servant couldnt get out and was left to rot in jail..

i was reminded of it, cos i m not perfect myself, and must in turn " not judge people or be judged" and my anger subsided... i didnt take any action after that... much less to say, when gabe asked for forgiveness, i have already forgave him... haha...

then i recalled that wang guan was very close to him, so i went to his blog, via the link at gabe's blog cos i have already forgotten his url ( P.S. i just found out that it is http://li0nheart.bizhat.com/ )... haha.. ya.. then i read smt about him calling people a suck up and being small... he also gave his destructive comments and tried to run me down in front of his peers again... fortunately, God was with me and i remembered this parable again... then i realised, why should i be angry? why should i take the "advise" of whom i hardly know now, since he has changed so much... i could even say i do not know him... haha...

thanks kenneth, laraine and all my friends in school for standing by me... as someone said, i m only hurt when the person is very close to me... fortunately, i realised my folly after the presbyterian high incident and distant myself from small people...

i am not angry, i would just like to reply to the gabe/wg thing cos they are talking about me in direct. it would not even affect me, as wang guan would hope to, and i would carry on my life as per normal... i know that i have given of my best and i need not fear what others think of me... i have fulfilled my presonal mission statement , PMS for short, and that is to do my best in all that i do and let God do the rest..

last of all, i just want to mention that " you would rather offend a woman, than offend a small person"... although a woman would be very grumpy and start to bad mouth you, she still has a conscience and will stop after a while... a small person has no conscience and does not know how to stop... pls take a good look at the kind of people that you are making friends with... learn from my example... do not follow in my footsteps... :)

Today the fifteen of july

2005-07-15T20:13:00.000-07:00

today was the last day of the gym competition... as well as my listening comprehension... the gym competition was kinda of like a bitter sweet thing... partially cos my wish of being free from gym will be granted... partially cos its time to say goodbye to my friends in gym... those who have made my life meaningful like jonathan, jun siew and all the people who have made an impact in my life( positively though, i dun believe in remembering the negative things)... although i know that singapore is still small and that we can always meet up and stuff like that... but the fact remains that if there is no interaction, there would not be any friendship.

the listening wasnt so bad... partially its cos the passage was easy... hope i can get everything correct with God's help though... cant be too proud... haha..

i hope that i will be able to perserver through the o levels and do the best that i can do... haha...

today the twelve

2005-07-12T16:15:00.000-07:00

sigh... another busy day at school... i suddenly realise that i put the tag board there for nothing lor... no one is tagging... haha... maybe is should also close down this tag board cos the person who persuaded me to start it has just become... say " irrelevant"? cos he keeps using it... haha... well, he has just become it... but thats besides the point... haha...

school was quite ok today.... sending pei wei off to cat high tomorrow... just got the blazer and the form signed today only... which was like... super lagging... ahha... but none the less.... i didnt get screwed, which is like damn lucky cos mr tan was in a good mood...

talking about mr tan, i do hope that my appeal with mr sirhan gets through... ( if you know about it, shut up about it. if you dunno about it, dun try asking)... if it does, it will save me alot of awkardness...

going to step down soon.... and soon, it will be all over... not that i m very happy about it... but it will save me alot of time and trouble and i can concentrate on my studies... no doubt that my roles have provided me with alot of experiences, may it be bad or good.... but none the less... it is still a meaningful time spent... i m glad and thankful to be able to have this opportunity to experience this and i hope that i will be able to "na de qi, fang de xia"( able to let go)...

today at church

2005-07-10T16:05:00.000-07:00

hey you know smt...

for the whole of this week i have been doing my quiet time... dunno what happened to me but suddenly found the disipline to do it...

then today at church, got a guest pastor called andrew ong... and he was preaching about the signs that Jesus has performed at the sea of galilee... and the crowds are paying more attention to the signs than to him...

and then we sang the hymn, God send his son. and when we came to the part where it says, " he lived and died, to buy my pardon", the lights suddenly went out... but its not a blackout cos the aircon was still on. but the congregation continued anyway... (talk about putting on a brave front... the guest pastor was lost though)... and when we came to the part where it says in the next stencer " he holds the future, and life is worth the living, just because he lives" and after we sang that, the lights came on again. i dun think its a coincedence or smt, but i suddenly got this inspiration. it says, " life and death on this earth are just a passing cloud. shouldnt we be more focused on what the "signs" are pointing to? shouldnt we live each day for the Glory of God?"

i do hope that i can live my life as a reflection of his Glory.

today the fifty of july

2005-07-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

how time flies... its going to be one year to my granddad's death anniversary.... but unfortunately, tomorrow i got chinese oral for o levels until about six pm. by then i think the columbarium would be closed already..

i just realised that the prelims are just like 66 days away... ben counted... hahas... going into full time mugging already..

today the 21st

2005-06-21T22:25:00.000-07:00

today, is just like any other day... hahas... obviously not right... otherwise i will not be blogging about it already....

today, i went for tuition in the morning.... that was wat i thought i was going for in the first place... until my teacher said that she would bring me out... hahas.... i thought that the whole world has forgotten about my birthday already... but she remembered... hahas... was so touched.... another thing that she did for me is that she bought me a english chinese bible.... thats what i wanted to get for a long long time already.... really appreciated it....

we went to bugis to shop.... window shopping rather... cos we didnt really bring alot of $$.... hahas.... then after that, we went to watch batman... was really long movie... but i enjoyed it cos i watched it with ppl that care for me... another memoriable day has passed...

today the 20th

2005-06-20T00:12:00.000-07:00

hahas... this is back dated post... so dun mind it... ya...

today i went to school as usual... cos aloy wanted to take me out since its my birthday! hahas.... went to school happy and waited for him for about two hours.... in this two hours... i met alot of ppl that i dun want to meet like deb tan, perry and saket.... its highly annoying but i thought " what the heck, aloy will be here anyway, just forget about the bad stuff right? (i got stood up by ben already)" so i just waited... until about 9.45, pei wei came out and asked me where aloy is, then i realised that he also stood me up.... and then pei wei told me that he could not make it either cos he is having tuition....

then i was thinking to myself, should i really be enjoying while the rest are studying? so i made my way to the library and i met wei jiang there... then we chatted for awhile and then we went to the cafe where he treated met to a drink..... i was really touched.... after that, he had to go home and i went to PS myself.... then i pulled ben seck along and met him there.... he treated me to pastamania for lunch.... at that moment, i felt so thankful that God has provided me with such a friend.... besides the fact that pulled him out just when he got out of bed, he actually bothered to come down and not only that, he treated me as well... it was beyond my imagination...after that, we watched mms together and went home....

this was really a one of a kind birthday i had... really memoriable... this phrase came to my mind, it says " in every dark cloud there is always a silver lining" ... really true...

sianz

2005-06-18T00:17:00.000-07:00

i just got rejected 10 times in a row when i asked ppl to go out with me on my birthday... starting to get abit sian already and thinking of calling it off... everytime i get rejected i would say nvm, but in fact, i really do mind... dunno why m i cheating myself... should start to stop being the "Mr nice guy"....

really doesnt pay to be good... get called names and stuff like that... and then ppl take you for granted... thinking you will always be there for them... and its not a mutual thing.... i m starting to get tired of this kinda of lifestyle.... why should i always be the one that is there for them and also not get appreciated for it.... really feel like calling the whole celebration off, if not for aloysius who initiated it... feel that if i call it off then i would let him down...

man, this life really sux... with the big O's coming up and not getting much support from the so called " friends" that you see everyday, plus that everyone takes you for granted or treats you like shit.... man, this really sux...

also, just received the letter from njc to tell me that i have not been short listed for the entrance exam... no wonder they say that " huo bu dan xing" (troubles do not come alone)... when you are down, you are really down...

enuf about depressing stuff... last friday, ezekiel messaged me to tell me that i have won a black eye peas album... but when i called to check when i can collect the album, i always get the answering machine...have been calling for a week now... its so unfair.... everything bad comes to me... not as if complaining would help but just to get it off my chest.... but come to think about it... these are just petty stuff right... i should not let it get me down.... but its easier said than done... hahas... what m i doing... contradicting myself...

i hope this streak of "bad luck" would end here as i m getting really tired of it already...

after the O's

2005-05-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

yes... finally... after two months of mugging...finally i m like a bird that has regained the freedom... lol... i m crapping here...

today was a shiong day.... got chinese o's paper one and two.... one was quite ok just that i didnt finish finding the words that i dunno how to wrtie.... paper two was worse.. but i shall not elaborate on it...

today i went to watch the star wars... the revenge of the sith.. or smt like that.... i especialy liked the master yoda who was so short and cute... but yet so powerful and wise... went with a few good friends like mark cryg, mark ong, kahang and deyao... was hanging out with them before the movie started... we booked the three o'clock slot bcos of mark ong... he had extra lessons or smt... anyways... really enjoyed their company... it had the true josephian spirit and the brotherhood in it...

want to go ice skating this month... of june i mean... ya... so anyone who wants to join me just tag me blog ya? i will be skating at jurong east...

got to work harder this term boy... my mid years sux lor... l1r5 of 22... cant even go jc... got to work harder... cant slack anymore... so if anyone sees me slacking do remind me k? hope i got enough time... just realised that i got only two months left... dunno if i should go for gym for this month...

sick

2005-05-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

i think i study too hard already.... now sick with high fever of 39 degrees and having a bad case of flu... anyways... i hope that i will recover soon as i m already lagging in the revision. o levels still got another 5 days to go.. hope that i can get in some revision by then.

after the exams!

2005-05-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

those that are viewing my blog... sorry that i have not updated it cos i was very busy due to sports heats and the mid years.... but now i m back! hahas...

today i just finish my mid years... heard from zm that they are going to be counted if you do badly for your prelims... so was mugging away and "eating the books up"... hahas.... so lame.... but thats how it was... studying and studying and studying.... i sort of enjoyed it though.... cos i dun need to go for gym... speaking of which i still have not written the excuse letter... tsk tsk.... pre-planned ponning.... but thats life in gym anyway.... dunno if i can still go for com.... was not intending to go but it will be a bonous to go lar.... hahas...

went to watch a movie after the mid years to relax.... but ended up watching a nc-16 show instead... it was really good... its titled " kingdom of heaven"... the setting was in 1819... when the people still use swords and the hammer to knock down the city gates.... really made me appreciate how much tech we have now....

the movie was about this catholic knight that went sleeping around with other women and ended up having a illegitamate son.... twenty years later, he went back to find his son and brought him back to jeruselm.... however, on the way back, he was waylaid and was killed by serious injuries. before he died, he knighted his son and asked him to go back to jeruselm to serve the king.... however, the king was a leper and died not long after the kingdom was being attacked. i felt this part was very inspiring as this king did not care for his own health and went to make peace with the enemies instead. it suddenly occurred to me that this is what a true king should do for his people. and in the process, he died. that drove the message in even deeper. after that, the king that succeeded him declared war on the enemies despite being warned not to as the army will die of thirst but he carried on. the whole army was killed this way. fortunately, this illegimate son of the knight vowed to protect the people and stayed behind. he then made preparations as he predicted that the enemy will attack the city. this preparations then saved the people in the later part of the story.

it dawned on me that no matter how unknown a person is, how unused the person is, he can still be used by God in his plan. this movie has made a impact on me, teaching me to help those that are needy and to protect those who are helpless. of course, i will need God's wisdom to guide me.

life ROX!

2005-04-19T19:15:00.000-07:00

heys, just to note, i downloaded the new version of msn already and now my msn is working...

well, today is sort of boring with the teachers nagging and stuff like that.... not really into going to sch now... feel like having the study break now...

have been going to the night study for about two weeks already... i find it very enticing as i get to be stress free, as contradicting as it might sound.... i dun have to worry about other matters other than my studies and i get to interact with my friends there... i dun get to see the people that i dun like and its just me and my friends.... i wish every night also got night study...

another thing that i have learnt is that studies is the most important... no matter how much other people say that cca points count, its still the studies that count... friends will come and go.... achievements will be over taken.... what you are really in school for is your studies... the rest is just a bonous... my father always told me this, but now, when i think back... its really true...

thus from now on, i will concentrate all my energy into studying and nothing else... i believe that whatever that i have given into the various aspects that needed me will be enough to carry on without me... i have trained people to take over me... now is the time for me to take a rest... and maybe take the back seat.... now i know why so many high flying people are willing to give up their high paying salary to take on a low paying job.

its time for me to take a break....

=)

do not bring my school activities into my private space

2005-04-12T21:59:00.000-07:00

to whoever that has been inpersonating other people,

whatever the reason that you dislike me or hate me, i do not wish for your comments to come into my personal space. the blog was not set up with you in mind. much less with you impersonating others to attack me. whoever you are, pls have to guts, too, to admit who you are. if not, you are not worth bothering with, especially if you are one of those that has nothing better to do and the goal in life is to make someone very unhappy. then i think you lead a very sad life and that you should go and get alive! COS YOU GOT NO LIFE! understood?

also,if you have nothing better to do and your goal in life is to make someone around you feel unhappy, then i feel sad for you. you know something? the school counsellor is there for people like you. people that are psychotic! i also dun mind paying for your fees at the institute of mental health for you to stay there forever, even if you are overaged. or a foreign student. or under nourished for that matter cos your brain got not enough nutrients to support your brain growth. thats why you act so retarded or insane. or PERVERTED for that matter.

NOW GET LOST!

and this is not a request.

sian of writing the dates already

2005-03-28T21:18:00.000-08:00

today in the morning was in quite a good mood as i slept well last night in dunno how many months... but then when i got to school, things start to go bad... first of all. ppl did not turn up for my duty... as usual, jun how was late again... but these are just small matters....

what matters was during the pse period. nigel and i went round to look for ppl to participate in the track and field. but after a while we decided that it was too slow... so we decided to seek the help of chum, ahvid and aloy... thankfully for these ppl, things got better. however, the sec threes and sec twos were still not cooperative and we had to go and persuade them to join.... hopefully they will remember to bring their pe attire tomorrow.

felt so bad, nigel fell sick today. i should have gotten his hint that he was feeling stressed and was not fully capable of handling the task and i should have asked someone to help him instead. will bear this in mind and will be more sensitive...